


at least we had it for a moment

by TullyBleus



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M, Female Hange Zoë, levihan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:01:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 28,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29259390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TullyBleus/pseuds/TullyBleus
Summary: Hange had always known that life is not fair but she never knew it could be this painful, too. Based on Me Before You.
Relationships: Levi/Hange Zoë
Comments: 12
Kudos: 20





	1. expositio

**Incipit prologus**

_Petra was already awake and had started to pick up her discarded clothes from last night when Levi steps out of the bathroom. He wraps a towel low on his hips, using another one to dry his hair as he stares at his girlfriend's still bare backside, his eyes admiring the curve of her back as she bent down, the dip of her waist, down to her –_

" _You're staring," Petra comments as she straightens up without turning around, pulling her shirt on in the process._

_He smirks and scoffs in amusement and walks over to the closet to pull out his own clothes, "So what?" he replies cockily, "Are you gonna complain?"_

_Petra giggles and walks over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him from behind. Levi pulls out a three-piece suit for work and throws them on to the bed. He traces a finger across his extensive collection of neckties, trying to choose the one that goes well with his attire._

" _Do you really need to go?" she whispers, her lips against the skin of his neck and her breath tickles his ear._

_He picks out the dark blue tie with thin white stripes, tossing it on top of the suit. He turns around with a small smile, wrapping his arms around the smaller woman and pressing a kiss on her temple, "Kenny needs me at the office," he answers, his tone almost apologetic._

_Petra pouts and he chuckles, tucking an errant hair behind her ear and giving her another peck on the lips, "I'll be back before you know it," he assures, "How about a dinner as Sina's? And then we can talk about our vacation. We can go where you want to go."_

_Her lips stretches into a wide grin and it makes Levi's heart swell with affection just staring at her. God, he loves her so much._

_He pulls away from her and proceeds to put on his clothes while she uses the bathroom. He's in the middle of putting his cufflinks on when his phone vibrates from where it lay on the bed. The screen reads 'Kenny'. He swipes the screen and puts the call on speaker._

" _Yes?" he answers curtly, finishing with his cufflinks and proceeds to his tie._

" _Where the hell are you?" Kenny's raspy voice sounds hushed, as if he's trying to whisper and express his anger at the same time._

" _Good morning to you too, Uncle Kenny," Levi replies sarcastically, "No, I didn't have breakfast yet, how about you?"_

" _I don't need you being snarky now, Levi!" the older man hisses, "The clients are already here!"_

_His eyes briefly flicks to his device and the frantic fingers begins to pull the tie into knots, "I'm on my way," he answers, tone clip and professional._

" _You better be!" Kenny growls before hanging up the call._

_Levi pulls the curtain aside and takes a glance outside. The heavy storm from last night had been reduced to light drizzle and, for that, he's glad. He can make his trip to the office quicker with his motorcycle. He gets his coat from his drawer, slips his phone, keys and wallet in the pocket of his suit._

" _Petra," he calls out, "I'm leaving! See you later!"_

_She answers something back but the thick walls separating them muffles her voice slightly. Levi shrugs and goes out of his apartment, making his way to the basement parking. The guard greets him with a wave, which he returns with a small smile. He blinks and curses under his breath. He forgot his helmet upstairs._

" _Fuck it," he mutters, and proceeds to put the keys into the ignition. He's needed at the office for a very important meeting and he needs to hurry. With luck, he will not be pulled over by a cop. He puts on the coat and starts up his motorcycle. Once satisfied, he pulls out of the garage._

 _With the time he spent in the parking lot, he fails to notice that the rain had started to pick up again and the steady rain started to patter his back. He shakes his head slightly in disappointment._ Of all the times, _he thinks as he weaves in and out of traffic._

_His phone starts to vibrate inside his pocket and, Levi suspects, it must be Kenny, calling to tell him to hurry up again. He ignored the calls and twists the throttle further in an attempt to make it run faster. He scoffs when, suddenly, the street light turns red. He glances around him, eyes darting left and right and his mood lifts slightly as he recognized the street that he is in. He can be there in ten minutes, he just needs to make a U-turn on this street, take a shortcut on the alley and emerge two blocks away from their building._

_The light finally turns green. He revs his motorcycle up and started to steer, attempting to turn to the correct street that he needs to be at. His eyes are forward, their focus on the street that he intends to be at, and he fails to notice the incoming cab, running at full speed, trying to chase the green light. The driver's running at full speed, a phone pressed against their ear, and they, too, failed to notice the turning and steering of the motorcycle._

_Levi's environment explodes, every single part of his body has become numb and then burns and then numbness again that settles on his very being. He tries to open his eyes, to see what happened, to figure out why he's suddenly on his back and staring up at the dark grey sky, why the hell is the rain pelting his face, why can't he feel his fingers nor his toes –_

_His vision turns black._

* * *

"Moblit, please!" Hange whined loudly, earning her a glare from the other applicants in the job center, "I really need a job, anything, _anything,_ you can offer me!"

"Keep it down!" the man behind the desk hissed at her, "I'm trying my best here, y'know?! Just let me do my work!"

The bespectacled woman sighed and threw her head back in annoyance and fatigue, "Sorry," she apologized half-heartedly, voice now a tad bit calmer and lower, "It's just… argh! Why did they have to raise the tuition so much?!"

It's a rhetorical question. Hange closed her eyes, groaned and ran both hands through her already messy hair and Moblit can't help the pang of pity that ran through him. He knew very well what she was going through but he can only do so much to help her. He smoothed his face into one of neutrality and clicked the mouse a few times.

"Library assistant?" He suggested.

"High school boys hitting me up? No, thanks," she replied.

"Coffee shop barista?"

"You know I'm _already_ working at one, right?"

"Teaching assistant?"

"It might be a conflict with my schedule at the coffee shop."

Moblit threw his hands up in exasperation, "That's it, I'm done," he exclaimed, giving Hange a tired look.

She immediately leaned forward, clasping her hands in front of her, "Please, Moblit!" she pleads again, "Anything, I swear, _anything!_ Just… not something that might get in the way of my work at the coffee shop. I'm willing to take _two_ jobs!"

He sighed and put his hands back down on the desk, one scrolling and the other typing, "Didn't you say you're going back to uni for this year?"

She cringed, pushing her glasses up her nose, "Yeah, that _was_ the plan but… there's still Nifa, you know? And, I was thinking, it might be a good idea to save up a little for my tuition next year."

Moblit can only sigh again as he refreshed his database. He understands full well the hardships of being the sole bread winner and the only caretaker of a younger sibling. He tapped his fingers on his desk impatiently as the page loads and his eyes lit up when a new notification showed up on his screen, eagerly clicking the job listing. He read the responsibilities indicated, nodding a little to himself. Yes, this will do. When he scrolled further, his eyes widened in surprise, which didn't escape Hange's attention.

"What? What is it? Do you have something for me?" she asked excitedly, leaning forward slightly in an attempt to look at his screen.

"Yeah," he answered, dragging out the syllable as he read the position further, "I think you might want this."

She grinned, "What is it, Moblit? Tell me!"

He cleared his throat and recited, "It's a Care assistant position. You'll have to be a companion for a disabled man. "

Her face fell and she blinked, "So," she hesitated, "I have to wipe somebody else's ass?"

"No, no! It doesn't say, at least," Moblit quickly reassured and muttered the last part, "It's a private position to be a companion of a quadriplegic person. They need somebody to accompany them to doctor's errands, to feed and assist them during daytime. You can drive, right?"

"Yeah, but –"

"Then this is good," he interjects, "You just have to be there to talk to them, to feed them, to just… be there for them and you can do what you want when you're finished with your tasks. But… yeah, there's a catch. They need someone to work for them full-time. Weekdays and weekends, 9 in the morning to 5 in the evening, at least."

"Not interested," she drawled, leaning back on her chair.

He shifted his eyes towards her, looking frantic, "But it's good money! They're offering $12 per hour! _More_ than above minimum wage!"

Hange stared at the wooden desk and bit her lip in contemplation. That's… actually more than good. Her minimum wage at the coffee shop was barely enough to cover the bills and then there's the matter with Nifa's tuition and school necessities and then their own needs. Can she ask her boss to give her a night shift, instead?

She sighed, "Can you schedule me for an interview?"

* * *

Hange stood before the house, intimidated and slightly nervous at the enormous gate that's before her eyes. From what she can see, there's a wide garden on the left side, an equally wide garage on the left and she can see what looked like a patio near the garden. Near the gate is a small guard house but she can't see anyone outside of it. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves, walked closer to the gate and rang the doorbell.

A uniformed man stepped out of the guard house and walked close to the gate but made no move to let her in. Instead, he stared at her. And stared. And stared.

Hange cleared her throat to break the awkward silence and brought her hand up, which held a long brown envelope, "Um, I'm here for the interview? For Care assistant?" She said unsurely.

The man nodded and then disappeared back inside the guard house, leaving Hange was dumbfounded. Was she turned away? She looked down to assess herself. Nifa told her that it would be a good idea to dress smartly and she tried to do just that with the limited wardrobe that they both have. She found a clean, button-down shirt and a suit jacket that her sister insisted on ironing. They even found her black slacks that she bought two years ago that, miraculously, still fits her. She even took the time to take a bath, comb her hair and put it up in a ponytail to form a resemblance of neat.

' _Dress to impress, Hange!'_ was what Nifa told her but Hange thought she's not impressing anyone with her get-up.

She was startled when the sound of metal sliding reached her ear and she looked up to find the guard opening the gate. Her eyebrows furrowed further in confusion when he stepped aside and opened the gate wider, as if inviting her to come in. She began to step closer, still cautious, until she's inside. The guard closed the gate, the metals clanging noisily behind her, and then he began to walk in front of her.

"Wait!" she called out and the guard turned to look at her, an uninterested look on his face, "Wha – what are – where am I gonna go?!"

"Follow me," the man's deep but quiet voice reached her ears, "Ms. Kuchel's expecting you. Best not to keep her waiting."

The man continued to walk again. Hange snapped out of her daze and half-jogged to keep up with the his longer stride. She fell into a step beside him and they're reigned once again by awkward silence as they made their way to the front door. Hange glanced in front of her, then to the sides, then looked at the man by the corner of her eyes and then looked forward again. She bit back her sigh; she can't take this silence any longer.

She turned her head and gave him a smile, "So," she began, trying to make her voice as friendly and inviting as she can, "What's your name?"

He hesitated for a second, "Call me Zacharias," he answered shortly.

"I see! I'm Hange Zoë, nice to meet you!" she said and held her right hand out.

Zacharias ignored it.

Hange lowered her hand slowly, feeling her cheeks redden slightly. _Well, that was awkward._

"So, um," she tried again as they neared the front door, "Any idea who I will be taking care of? How is he as a boss? Or as a person, in general? He really can't walk? Is he really –"

"I think it's best if Ms. Kuchel explains everything to you," he cut her off the moment they reached the front door, " _If_ you get hired, that is."

He knocked on the elegantly designed wooden door and, almost immediately, an older woman opened the it for them. She had blue gray eyes and long, black hair with streaks of gray starting to show. If Hange had to guess, the woman is in her mid-fifties but the wrinkles on the corners of her eyes and around her mouth made her look a lot older.

"Thank you, Zacharias," the woman told the blond and he merely nodded before walking back to the guard house. The woman turned to her and fixed her with a calculating gaze, "You must be Hange Zoë," she said and held out her hand, which Hange was quick to take in a hasty handshake, "I'm Kuchel Ackerman. Please, come in."

Hange stepped inside and she tried not to gawk at all the things that her eyes caught. Everything looked expensive: from the rich-colored paintings, to the elaborately designed ceramic vases, to the intricacies of the frames that hung. Hange let her eyes drift upward and she almost gasped at the high ceiling that she saw. This family… is filthy _rich._

She's so absorbed with admiring the interior of the _absurdly_ large house that she collided with the stand of the vase that's close to the wall. She yelped in alarm but, thankfully, she managed to reach her hands out to catch both the stand and the vase. Her yelp, however, caught the attention of the older woman and, when Hange raised her eyes, she found Kuchel staring coldly at her.

"Are you alright?" Kuchel managed to sound amicable.

Hange blushed, hurriedly straightened up and fixed the stand into an upright position, carefully setting the vase down, "Y-yes ma'am! I'm so sorry about this!"

Kuchel nodded curtly and gestured her arm forward, "Then let's go to the living room to discuss about the position that you're interested in."

She started to walk into another room and Hange carefully followed her and kept her eyes forward this time, keeping a wide distance between her and the furnishings inside the house that, undoubtedly, worth more than anything she ever had, all combined.

The living room had several couches and shelves, with several picture frames adorning the top of them. Hange didn't waste anymore time studying them but she did catch a person with red hair, another was blond and one with black hair, like Kuchel's.

Kuchel sat down on one of the couches and gestured for Hange to sit on the couch opposite hers, which she was quick to obey. The glass coffee table separated them and the brunette slid her application on the table.

"Um, my résumé is in there and the recommendation from the job center," she informed as the older woman opened the file that she provided. Silence surrounded them as Kuchel reviewed her files and Hange tried hard not to fidget. She can't take long periods of stillness but she felt like the woman wouldn't appreciate her making unnecessary comments. Instead, she tried to, discreetly, study the woman.

Her wrinkles looked more pronounced under the harsh glare of their bright chandelier, her posture looked stiff and tensed, as if she's trying to hold up an invisible weight atop her shoulders. She was gripping the papers a little too tightly, her knuckles turning white and the paper had creased from where she was holding them.

"So," Kuchel spoke without looking away from her résumé, startling the brunette, "You never had experience being a carer before?"

Hange gulped, "Yes, ma'am," she confirmed. Kuchel finally looked up and fixed her with a cold stare.

"That means you never dealt with anyone with disability."

She hesitated, "… yes ma'am."

"Have you heard of quadriplegia?" she asked.

"Someone… who can't walk?" Hange's voice faltered by the end and she wanted to slap herself for sounding insensitive.

"That's a blatant way to put it but yes, you're correct," the older woman conceded, face still expressionless, "Levi is quadriplegic. He can't use his legs completely and only small movements of arms and hands that allows him to maneuver his wheelchair. Would that be bothersome?"

"No, no, it wouldn't be," Hange quickly appeased.

Kuchel looked back down at her file, "Can you drive? Is there anything on your driving record that I should know about?"

"Yes and no."

The older woman raised her eyes again, eyebrows furrowed, "What?"

Hange felt her face heat up in embarrassment, "I'm sorry! I mean, yes, I can drive, and no, I never had a speeding ticket before."

The brunette saw the subtle way Kuchel's eyebrow rose and Hange just wanted to melt right then and there.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-eight, ma'am."

"The previous candidate had several years of experience as a carer on his back," Kuchel began, "He also had experience working with quadriplegics before. Why should I choose you over him?"

Hange's heart began to pound inside her chest as panic seized her, her mouth feeling dry and all she can think about at that moment was their mounting bills, their growing debt, Nifa's school fees…

"I-I don't have experience with working as a carer before. But, I can assure you! I'm very willing to learn and… and I'm a quick learner. And-and I don't over speed. And I'm a pretty good cook too! I'm sure you're husband – "

"My husband?" Kuchel's stern voice cut off Hange's rambling and she closed her mouth with a snap, "My husband's long dead now, Ms. Zoë. We're talking about my _son._ "

Hange blinked, "Y-your son?"

"Levi, my son," Kuchel clarifies as she put the folder down on the coffee table, "He was involved in a road accident almost two years ago, which caused him to be quadriplegic. He does have a private nurse who takes care of the majority of his medical needs but he needs a companion who would stay with him during day time, since Erwin had other patients to take care of, as well. The primary responsibility would be to help him with his food, make sure that he drinks his meds and make sure that nothing dangerous happens to him. From time to time, we need someone to take him to the doctor for his routine check-up."

The detached way that Kuchel told her of these things caught Hange's attention, as if she had been saying those words for more than she can count. But her thoughts soon shifted.

 _Oh, shit,_ Hange thought, looking down at her lap as she felt her hope sink, _Bye-bye, $12._

"Would you like the job?" Kuchel spoke again.

Her eyes snapped up to the older woman's, her hope flaring up again, "Huh?"

"Levi has the best medical care we can provide him," Kuchel explained as she stood up, "The person that we need is someone who can… someone who is upbeat and vigorous. I think you, Ms. Zoë, is the right person for this job. So, would you like the job?" Kuchel repeated the question almost impatiently.

"Yes," the bespectacled woman answered immediately, "Yes, ma'am, absolutely!"

Kuchel nodded, "Then, let's go and meet Levi."

Hange hurriedly stood up. She almost felt light-headed with giddiness and relief was pouring out of her. She got the job… she got the fucking job! She can provide for Nifa and their needs and their rent and –

"I should warn you," Kuchel interrupted her thoughts as she led them into a whole different part of the house, which looked simpler and minimalist in design, "Levi… is not always in the best mood. You must have the utmost patience when you're dealing with his needs. Also, you must be with him all the time. Levi should not be left alone, in case… something happens."

"Yes, ma'am," she quickly assured but she can feel anxiety replacing her previous relief. Can she really do this?

A man, who stood at least six-feet tall, rounded a corner and made his way to them. He looked older than Kuchel, but the airy way that he held himself almost made him appear younger. He grinned.

"Sister!" he exclaimed, "Is this the new one?"

"Kenny," Kuchel's voice was less than welcoming; if anything, it turned colder, "This is Hange Zoë. She'll be Levi's new carer."

Kenny held out his hand towards hers, "Nice to meet you, Hange Zoë," he said, still grinning as he grasped her hand in a firm handshake, "I'm Kenny Ackerman, Levi's uncle. You _can't_ come to me crying about my nephew's behavior."

"Don't you have places to be?" Kuchel interrupted, annoyance now evident in her voice.

He sighed dramatically, "Always so bossy," he complained, "Fine, I'll see you later!" he acquiesced and walked away.

It was Kuchel's turn to sigh, "Sorry about that," she apologized half-heartedly and continued to walk.

"It's alright," Hange mumbled as she tried to keep up with the older woman's quick stride. It didn't take long for them to stand before a black door and Kuchel knocked three times, "Erwin? Levi?"

"Come in, Ms. Kuchel!" a deep voice muffled by the door called out. Kuchel twisted the knob and pushed open the door.

The room was big, big enough to be compared to her apartment. A single, king-sized bed in the middle of the room and sparse furnishing was found. Near the bed was a man with chin-length hair, a moustache and a beard comparable to that of an old man. His eyes, the same as his mother, bored into hers without any interest. Another man with a muscular built, a blond, was crouching in front of him, adjusting the man's feet onto the footrests of the wheelchair.

"Good morning, Levi," Kuchel's voice completely turned around, her tone now softer and loving towards her son.

The man sitting on the wheelchair shifted his eyes towards Kuchel, "Good morning, mother."

The blond one straightened up and stood beside Levi's wheelchair, "Good morning, Ms. Kuchel," he greeted.

"Good morning, Erwin," she greeted back, "Boys, this is Hange Zoë. She'll be your new companion from now on, Levi."

His eyes drifted back to hers and she swallowed. She pushed her glasses further up her nose, a nervous habit that she has.

"Hi," she almost squeaked, "I'm Hange. Hange Zoë."

Awkward silence dominated the room as Levi continued to stare at her. She tried not to squirm when his eyes seemed to judge her from head to toe.

"Your glasses look shitty," he finally replied, voice cold. Her hand immediately flew to her face, finger tracing the broken bridge of her eyeglasses, held together by scotch tape. Levi didn't wait for her to reply, though; his hand fiddled with the joystick of his wheelchair, maneuvering it to face the ceiling-to-floor window behind him and moving closer to it.

The blond guy, Erwin, had an amused smile on his lips all the while. He walked closer to them and held out his hand for Hange to shake, "I'm Erwin Smith, Levi's private nurse," he introduced himself as he let go of her hand, "Don't mind Mr. Ackerman there, he's always like that," he said, a teasing note in his voice.

"I can still hear you, eyebrows," Levi warned.

Erwin only grinned, "Yeah, that's intentional. So," his blue eyes shifted to Kuchel's, "When will Hange Zoë start, Ms. Kuchel?"

"I can start immediately, ma'am," Hange answers, even though there's already dread that's rising inside her chest. She has no fucking idea how to deal with this, no idea how to take care of a seriously disabled person, especially a quadriplegic one. But the money… she needed the money.

"You can start on Monday, Hange," Kuchel decided, "Erwin will teach you what you need to learn before he leaves that day."

"Don't worry, Hange," Erwin reassures, "It's not as hard as it appears to be."

Hange tried hard to believe his words.


	2. ortu actio

Hange heaved a sigh as she stood a block away from the Ackerman Manor. She looked up, admiring the clear sky that they had been blessed with. She exhaled; she's distracting herself from the fact that she's about to start her new job at this ridiculously large house, for this ridiculously rich family, with a _ridiculously_ cold boss. She doesn't have a fucking clue on what she will do for her first day, what will happen, what the _hell_ she will do and she started to doubt her own decision of accepting this job. She ran her hands down her face and then tightened the tie that held her hair together.

She hopped from foot to foot, shaking the sweat that had started to gather in her palms and took in a few deep breaths to calm her nerves. She smoothed her shirt, took in a deep breath and continued her way towards the house, her anxiety now replaced with determination. It didn't last long, however, for when she glanced at her watch, she found that she's already late by five minutes.

"Shit!" Hange exclaimed and ran the rest of the way. She smashed the doorbell a few times once she's close enough, peering through the bars to look at the guard house.

"Zacharias? Zacharias?!" she called out. It took her a few more doorbell-smashing and name-calling before the guard came, half-running, coming from the direction of the garage. He made quick work with the lock and opened the gate wide for her to come through.

"Sorry, thanks!" she called out to Zacharias over her shoulder as she sprinted to the front door. Her backpack swung and thudded against her back and she leapt over the two-step stair before the front door. She stopped and leaned forward, resting her hands on her knees and panting from her run. She continued to breathe deeply, trying to catch her breath. _I really need to start exercising again,_ she thought to herself when the front door swung open suddenly.

She looked up and was met with the confused eyes of Kuchel Ackerman, dressed to the nines in her business suit, a bag hanging from her arm as she took in the disheveled state of the brunette. Hange straightened up immediately and fixed her skewed glasses.

"Is… everything alright?" Kuchel asked.

"Y-yes, ma'am! Just… running a little late," she replied and laughed sheepishly, feeling sweat run down the back of her neck.

Kuchel's eyes turned a bit chilly, opening the door wider and stepping out of the threshold, "Yeah, I noticed," she replied tersely, "Look, Erwin is waiting for you in Levi's room. I have to go to work today but he will tell you everything that you need to know about taking care of my son until he gets back."

"Oh, thank you, Ms. Kuchel! I'll go now," Hange answered and started to step inside when the older woman's voice made her turn around. Kuchel's jaw was tensed and her eyes had an almost pleading look in her eyes.

"Never leave Levi alone for a long time," she commanded while looking at her.

Hange had no idea what to say and she merely nodded. Though Kuchel still looked uncertain, this seemed to appease her and she turned back, closing the door heavily behind her. The bespectacled woman furrowed her eyebrows, shrugged, and continued on her way. Luckily, she remembered the way to her boss' suite and, soon, she's standing before his bedroom door. She took a deep breath, exhaled and opened the door.

She found Levi, sitting on his wheelchair, with his back facing the door. Erwin was in front of him, fiddling with something on Levi's chest. Hange saw, from the reflection on the window, that the blond was actually buttoning Levi's shirt.

"Do you have no concept on knocking?" Levi's irritated voice reached her.

She blushed, "I'm so sorry, Mr. Ackerman! The door was not locked and –"

"And you decided that it's an invitation for you to come in," he finished for her, just as Erwin stepped away from him. Levi turned his chair around and frowned.

"Good morning, Hange," Erwin greeted with a smile but was drowned out by the other man's louder exclamation of, "What in the hell are you wearing?!"

She blinked, "Wha-?"

Hange consciously looked down at herself. She's pretty sure her shirt is clean; Nifa said that she washed it the last time that she managed the laundry. Her sneakers weren't _that_ dirty either – just a few spots of dust, here and there, sure. Her jeans…

"Your jeans looked like it's been dragged through shit," Levi clarified snarkily.

She paused and then laughed. Her blue jeans were spotted with coffee stains from this morning, when Nifa accidentally knocked her mug over and a few drops of the scalding fluid spattered on her. She laughed at the absurdity of the situation because she's so fucking nervous about her first day and she's already more than 10 minutes late and this man was worried about… about her _fucking pants_?

"I'm sorry," she managed to get out between giggles when she finally noticed the glare that he was giving her, "I just – I didn't expect you to be such a clean freak!"

His scowl deepened and he clicked his tongue in annoyance, "Erwin," he turned to his nurse instead, "I'd like to be in the rec room."

"Okay," the blond replied. Levi fiddled with the joystick of his wheelchair and began to steer it towards the door.

"Out of my way, shitty glasses," he commanded when he was a few feet away from her. Hange stepped out, a smile still threatening to break out from her lips. She stood outside, just beside the door, when Levi came out and, in what would later be known as the 'Pettiest Revenge Known to Humanity' in Hange's book, he purposefully swerved his wheelchair close her and 'accidentally' ran her foot over with one of the wheels.

She yelped, holding her injured foot up and hopping on her other foot. Levi continued his journey to the rec room.

"You-!" she exclaimed at the retreating back of that _petty_ clean freak when a heavy hand landed on her shoulder. She turned her head.

"Put an ice pack over it," Erwin instructed but she can see amusement dancing in his eyes, "I don't think there's anything broken on your foot since he didn't run over your toes."

Hange hissed and glared at him, grimacing at the feel of the throbbing pain on her foot, "And how would you know that?!"

Erwin dropped his hand and gave her a secretive smile, "Let's just say that I've learned from experience. Come on, I'll show you to the rec room – so you know how the DVDs are arranged – and then I'll tell you what you need to do."

He gave her another smile and began to walk in the direction that their boss took off to. Hange plopped down on the floor, carefully untying her sneaker and removing her sock. The skin had started to swell slightly and she can see the subtle starting of a bruise forming. She lightly traced a finger over the skin, wincing at its tenderness but, other than that, it seemed that Erwin was right. She slowly put on her sock and shoe, letting the ties be as she limped her way over to the other room.

When she got there, Erwin was already popping a DVD in the player and Levi had already situated himself a few feet away from the TV. Erwin beckoned her over with a wave as he made his way to the cabinet on the left side of the wall.

"The DVDs here are arranged based on their genre and language, since Mr. Ackerman is quite fond of international films as well," Erwin said in a low voice when the opening music of _Star Wars_ started to blare around the room, "It's how he prefers it to be. Never – and I mean it – _never_ forget where you took the DVD from or leave the case _and_ the disk anywhere. He'll be more than annoyed if his disk collection is not in the place where it should be."

Hange nodded as Erwin began to inform her of where the genres were placed but, internally, she's already wincing. She's not _exactly_ the epitome of 'neat'; she's the opposite of that, if she's being totally honest. Nifa's mostly in charge of doing the cleaning and washing and she's in charge of cooking and earning. She tried her best to help but it seemed that her attempts were mostly lousy or would require a re-doing that Nifa would have to do.

"Let's go to the kitchen," Erwin said the moment they're done with the last cabinet, "That's where his meds are and the list of what he needs to take."

He was already out of the room when Hange caught up to him, "Wait!" she called out, a little louder than intended, and she immediately lowered her voice to a mumble, "You sure it's okay to leave him alone?"

The blond gave her a reassuring smile, "We won't be gone for too long," he replied, "Just… if you need to do something, make sure to be quick and that you don't leave the door closed. You can keep it open so you'd hear if something happened to him. Okay?"

"Okay," she exhaled. Erwin then led her to the kitchen. He opened an overhead cabinet and pulled out a folder, which he handed her. She opened it, eyes widening slightly at the list of instructions that she needed to do. She flipped through the papers, feeling her nervousness flare up at the _additional_ directions indicated on them.

"There are… so many instructions," she noted nervously.

"Oh, don't worry Hange," he reassured her again, "Those are just instructions listed on what to do and what to give him if he's feeling off while I'm not around. The first page there, that's what he need on a daily basis."

Hange looked up and her eyes frantically took in the numerous colored bottles that Erwin had laid out on the counter. The nurse chuckled.

"Don't look so scared!" he teased, "Everything's written down there: the names, the dosage, the time. He has difficulties swallowing some of the bigger tablets, so you'll have to crush them and mix it with his drink. If you're confused, go read it again. And, here, I'll walk you through it."

Erwin then proceeded to explain to her the individual purpose of the meds, the dosage needed and the time that Levi needed to take them. Still, Hange couldn't shake the queasiness that fluttered in her stomach.

"I will be back by lunchtime, don't worry. I'll change his catheter and do everything that involved lifting him," he said as he started to place the bottles back to the cabinet, "Ms. Kuchel said that you can do some light-cleaning around the suite – you know, dusting and vacuuming – when he doesn't call for you but, still, keep an eye on him. Wait there, I'll give you an ice pack."

Hange put the folder down on the counter and sat down heavily on the stool, "Erwin?" she hesitated, staring at his back, "What _exactly_ am I here for?"

Erwin didn't answer for a while and continued to put ice on the small bag.

"Erwin?" she prodded.

The blond sighed and turned around, handing her the ice pack and sitting on the stool opposite hers, the granite counter separating them, "I don't know but… Levi needs the company. Ms. Kuchel thinks that, perhaps, somebody could cheer him up so he's not too cranky. I mean, it _is_ understandable why he's cranky but, maybe, he'll not be as bitter about it."

Hange distracted herself by toeing her shoe off and, without taking her sock off, she placed the ice pack on her foot as uncertainty gnawed inside her. She's not sure if she's this _somebody_ that Kuchel wanted or the _somebody_ that Levi needed.

"I have to warn you, though, you got to have infinite patience with him," Erwin added playfully.

Hange looked up, her nerves settling down as she gave him a grin, "I've heard worse."

"Alright, then," Erwin stood up and began to make his way back to the rec room. Hange quickly put her shoe back on and followed him. Erwin was already putting his coat on and had his bag ready.

"I'll be going now, Mr. Ackerman," he announced over the booming voice of Han Solo, "You need me for anything else?"

"No, thanks," Levi answered curtly.

"Okay," he buttoned his coat and gave Hange a wink, "Have fun, you two."

Hange was left to stand awkwardly behind the man, staring at his back, as she tried to think of something to say to him. Her annoyance at being run over by his wheelchair has not abated but he's still her employer, and she needed the money.

"Why don't you take a picture?" he suddenly said that startled Hange.

"What? Pfft, what are you talking about?" she said flippantly, although she can feel the burning of her cheeks.

"Tch."

"So, um," she started and gulped down her aggravation, "Would you like tea? I make a mean cup of tea."

"Sure you do," he replied, sarcasm evident in his voice, "No."

"Uh, coffee?"

"No, shitty glasses."

_God-fucking-damnit._

"You can call me Hange," she suggested, trying to make her voice as friendly as possible.

"Does it make a difference?"

She sighed lightly and pressed two fingers on the bridge of her nose. _This is gonna be a long day._

"Okay, can I get you anything?" she asked amicably.

The film paused. Levi turned his chair around to face her and she can see that her left hand held the remote of the TV, a finger resting on what she presumed is the _Play/Pause_ button. Hange gulped when she saw the pure contempt and bitterness that Mr. Ackerman's eyes exude, the sudden silence of the room seemed to amplify the coldness of his gaze.

"I-I'll just dust off your room for a while," she mumbled, trembling fingers pointing in the direction of his bedroom, and left the room, remembering to keep the door opened.

* * *

That weird woman still came the next day, and then the next, and the next and, soon, a month had passed of her employment. He's pretty sure he really scared her off by glaring at her every time she came within 10 feet of him every day (just like he did with the last person), but she still came, still grinning at him whenever she entered his suite. She looked… so fucking messy and Levi sneered at her messy nest of hair that was put on a hasty ponytail, her shitty-looking glasses, her crumpled flannel shirt, her _filthy_ sneakers…

If he was able, Levi would've shuddered with disgust and took the cleaning supplies from her. But, no; he's here, stuck on this godforsaken chair, his eyes simply following the poor, nasty attempt of this fucking person to dust off the cabinet on his living room. He rolled his eyes as this _creature_ – she mentioned that her name's _Hange_ – tried to operate the vacuum, but failed miserably after three attempts. She took the feather duster instead and began a mediocre cleaning of the wooden shelf.

He can see that her eyes, however, were drawn on the picture frames that decorated the shelf top, the lousy movements of her hands slowing down as she took in the scenery that he was in at that moment, and Levi felt a surge of bitterness and grief flood inside his chest. Because those are the things he used to do _,_ and he can't do those now anymore. _I don't need your fucking pity._

Levi's not really sure why he's so angry with this person, though. Was it really his bitterness with his situation? Was it jealousy? Or was it something else? Did the brightness of her smile reminded him of another person? Did her little quirks made him recall of a certain redhead's?

He exhaled sharply and maneuvered his chair forward. The low hum of the chair caught the attention of this brunette and she jumped, turning around quickly to face him with panic and embarrassment evident in her eyes. He would've laughed at her expression right there, looking as if she's a kid caught stealing a cookie from a jar.

"That's from the hot springs of Reykjavik, Iceland," he recounted bitterly, "February of 2017."

She glanced at the photograph again, the telltale sign of a blush starting to form on her cheeks, "Oh, t-that's nice," she replied.

"Would you like to see some more?" Levi continued sarcastically, his temper flaring up, "I think my mom put them on the bottom drawer, feel free to open them up so you can feel more awful for me for living the life that I did then and being the way that I am now."

He didn't wait for her to reply. He simply turned the chair around and left the room.

* * *

She's still trying to get him to talk but Levi kept his mouth resolutely shut at every attempt that she made. She would ask to make him tea, he would refuse. She'd ask what he wants to do for the day, he kept his silence. She would talk and talk and talk, a feeble attempt to fill in the awkward silence that surrounds them two.

Sure, he would answer sometimes in either a snarky or sarcastic way but he can't figure out how this woman is not giving up yet. Does this woman really need money so bad? Or was she, perhaps, some sort of a masochist?

The one time that he was impressed with this _Hange_ was the first time that she made him a soup. It was a simple one – carrot and lentil soup, she said – and she talked all the while she was feeding him but, for once, Levi didn't feel like interrupting. He just wanted to enjoy this weird orange soup with the weirdly satisfying taste.

"Erwin told me that you need food high in protein, so this is what I thought of," she said as she spooned another one into his mouth, "My mom taught me this when I was younger and, luckily, I still remember the recipe!"

She laughed and wiped the dribble from the side of his mouth, "I had to make this for my sister whenever she's sick. I kid you not, she will _not_ eat anything else when she's having a fever unless it's this _particular_ soup!"

She put the spoon on the now empty bowl, left the dishes on the sink, then returned to his side, settling the beaker with his drink on the holder of his chair and turning the straw for him to easily reach. She faced the sink again and began to wash the dirty dishes.

"I know a few more soup recipes that's high in protein. There's minestrone soup, an egg-drop, kale and potato, tomato, pumpkin," she rattled off as she scrubbed the bowls and spoons, "Hey, Levi, would you like me to make you one of those? What would you like?"

Levi hesitated, looking at the granite countertop. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to tell her to fuck off.

"Pumpkin," was what his voice said instead. He felt heat rise up his neck but it's too late to take it back now. He turned his head and he found Hange looking at him, her eyes bright with unknown emotion and she had a surprised but grateful look. She gave him an elated smile.

"Okay, let's try that tomorrow, eh?" She asked, still smiling.

Levi merely nodded and left the room.

* * *

The day could've ended better, if only his mother didn't enter his room and told him that he had visitors. Hange's in the kitchen, preparing the meds that he needed before she left for the day.

"And just _who_ are there visitors, mother?" he asked, scowling up at his mother, who only wrung her hands in worry and looking at anywhere but him.

"It's… Oluo and Petra," she replied.

His eye twitched, "Tell them I'm not here."

"I already told them that you're home," his mother argued.

"Then, tell them I don't _want_ to see them. Either of them," he argued back. He can feel the hot fury burning in his throat and he wanted to scream at his mother because why? Why would she bring those _two_ here? While he's in this fucking situation?

Kuchel inhaled deeply before finally raising her eyes to meet his, "Levi," she contested gently, "They have something important to tell you."

"I don't give a flying fuck," he sneered and turned his chair to face the window.

He heard his mother sigh, "Look, Levi. I can't tell them to go now because they're already on their way. Besides, you can't keep on avoiding them forever."

Levi clicked his tongue as his frown deepened. _Not forever, mother._

She sighed again, "I'll go ask Hange to prepare coffee."

The clicking of her heels sounded around the room until, finally, it ceased when the door shut. It was his turn to sigh, gritting his teeth in fury because the last people that he wanted to see were those two.

Levi glanced at his reflection on the window and he wanted to smash the face staring right back at him. He looked utterly miserable, someone who let himself go because of the contempt and hate and rage that started to fill him two years ago. He closed his eyes tightly, pushing down the urge to scream at his reflection, and turned his chair around.

He didn't have to wait long. His mother came in again about 15 minutes later, with Petra and Oluo in tow. Kuchel's smile was strained and he's worried that it's going to snap any moment.

"Alright, I'll leave the three of you alone," even her voice sounded tensed, "I'll ask Ms. Zoë to bring in your coffee."

With that, Kuchel left the living room.

Oluo was the first one to move, standing in front of him and holding out his hand, as if he expected a hand shake, "Sir, how are you doing?"

Levi glared at the proffered hand and then at Oluo, who looked confused, "Fine, I suppose," he answered, a hint a sarcasm in his voice, "Considering the circumstances that I am now."

Oluo finally realized his mistake and he blushed, quickly lowering his hand, obviously embarrassed at his mistake. Tension filled up the room but Levi still levelled them with an unreadable face.

Petra cleared her throat and moved to stand beside Oluo. Levi didn't miss the brilliantly shining diamond on Petra's left hand and he felt his throat tighten.

"You look well, Levi," she commented, her eyes shimmering with pity and Levi despised that look, "How's the therapy going? Is there any improvement?"

"Don't worry, Petra. I won't be doing any bungee jumps or skis or hot spring trips any time soon," the sarcasm in his voice wasn't hard to miss. The tension quickly thickened and she awkwardly shifted from foot to foot.

Thankfully, four-eyes chose that moment to come in, carefully balancing a tray, which she set down on the coffee table. Oluo didn't hesitate to grab a cup, which Levi suspected as his attempt to just do _something_ to avoid the uncomfortable silence. The pair then sat down on the couch, the thighs pressed against one another, and Levi felt the tightness in his throat again.

"Hange," he called out just as she was leaving, "Can you put more logs on the fire?"

She shrugged, "Sure."

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" Levi asked, the sound of metal scraping the ashes from the fireplace a background distraction.

"So, um…" Petra mulled over her next words, "We have something to tell you."

Oluo gulped once, put the cup down and grasped Petra's hand. They looked at each other and then, as if on agreement, Oluo stood up and left the room.

"I-I wanted to tell you that… I'm getting married. With Oluo," Petra said in one breath, words tumbling out of her mouth in a rush as she looked at Levi.

Levi gritted his teeth harder and, with difficulty, he tried to smile.

"Congratulations," he said, voice tight as he attempted to sound amicable. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Hange had left the room, closing the door behind her with a gentle click.

"I-its just that… we personally wanted you to know. We didn't want the news to reach you from somebody else," she reasoned.

Levi merely stared at her.

"Levi, please," she pleaded, tears now glimmering in her eyes, "Say something."

"Congratulations," he repeated, voice now dripping with bitterness, "I'm sure you'll be very happy."

"Levi, please –"

Levi turned the chair around and faced the window again. He can still see her reflection, see the way she hastily wiped the tears that fell from her eyes, the way she still stared at him, waiting for him to say something.

"I… I still hope you can make it to the wedding," she finally concluded when he kept silent. Levi can see her reflection retreating, stepping out and then the slamming of the door filled the room.

Levi began to breathe in deeply but the air isn't enough. He knew in himself that he doesn't love her anymore; it's been two fucking years for fuck's sake. But, he can't change the fact that the betrayal still stung and that he felt so… so _invalid_.

He felt the pounding of his heart, the throbbing, aching feeling of the organ inside his chest wanting to burst as he tried to regain control of his ragged breathing. Levi wanted to hit something, to shout, to scream, to cry. He wanted to let out all the pent up anger, frustration, grief and tears that the years of being chair-ridden and bed-ridden had brought on to him. He wanted to kick and punch his reflection, to beat up this miserable husk of a man, to stand up and just thrash his room until its unrecognizable anymore.

But, of course, he can't do any of that. Because he became this useless piece of shit who had done nothing but to be a burden to everyone around him.

His eye caught the picture frame, the one that he took in Reykjavik, and he saw _red._

The next thing he knew, there's glass shards on the floor that crunched underneath the weight of his chair, an almost unnoticeable throbbing on his knees and the frames are now on the floor, shattered.

Thundering footsteps got louder and nearer until he heard his door wrenched open. He turned his head and met the panicked gaze of Hange Zoë. Her brown eyes widened at the sight of the broken glasses on the floor and he almost voiced a challenge for her.

"Look," she finally brought her eyes up to his and spoke after the long moment of silence, her voice a strange mix of apprehension and amusement, "I have no idea if the wheels on that thing can be punctured so please stay where you are while I get the vacuum cleaner cause I have no idea where the jack is."

With that, she left and Levi almost smiled, staring at her retreating back until she's out of sight. Perhaps, this Hange Zoë was more than he gave her credit for. She doesn't flinch from his glares most of the time, unlike most people. She rarely averted her eyes, always made sure that she made eye contact whenever she talks to him. And she talked to him, _gosh,_ all she ever did was talk to him that the stillness and solitude that he had been enduring for more than a year now in this fucking suite became a little more bearable.

He let his eyes study the small carnage that he created, feeling a flicker of satisfaction in his chest at the sight of the pictures surrounded by broken glasses and bent frames. His mother's gonna be so furious about these but he couldn't care less. They were fucking hideous anyway

* * *

It was raining the next day, the rain pelting his window heavily as he stared out at the garden. He narrowed his eyes and he started to maneuver his chair to be closer to the string to draw the blinds.

"Here, let me do that for you," a voice said behind him and, almost immediately, the blinds were neatly drawn.

He frowned, "I didn't ask for you fucking help," he said testily.

"I know, but I _really_ wanted to ask you something," she said with a grin.

"What is it?" he asked, cautiously eyeing the brunette, who was obviously hiding something behind her back.

"Well, what do you want to do today? Because I brought really good films today that I think you might like," she replied excitedly, finally showing him the DVD cases that she was hiding

Levi's eyebrow rose, intrigued, "Really? And what are they?"

She flipped through the cases one by one, dictating the titles, "Well… we have _Pupille, Le Prénom, Carlos, Deux Jours, une nuits, Polisse, Ma vie de courgette, La loi du marché Jusqu'á la garde, La guerre est déclarée…_ oh! And _Visages Villages."_

He frowned, "Are those… French movies?"

Hange waved her around, "Don't worry! They have subtitles, I swear! My sister brought it home last night, so I thought maybe it's a good idea to watch some of these."

Levi scoffed, " _Ma vie de courgette?_ Really?"

Hange huffed, almost indignantly, "They said it's a good film! Wait," she paused as if she just realized something, "You… know French?"

He rolled his eyes, " _Oui."_

She gasped, a grin stretching her lips and her eyes lighting up, " _Pourquoi tu ne me l'as pas dit plus tôt?!_ " (Why didn't you tell me sooner?!"

" _Parce que tu es trop bavard, c'est pourquoi,"_ he replied immediately. (Because you're too talkative, that's why.)

And she laughed, a laughter filled with mirth.

"Then, what are we waiting for?" she asked, starting to walk towards the rec room and beckoning him with a wave of her arm, "Let's start with _Ma vie de courgette!"_

"Hey!"

* * *

"Hey, kid," it was his uncle's raspy voice from the doorway.

Levi turned his chair to face him and gave him questioning look. Kenny knelt in front of him and took one of his hands between his own.

"How you doin'?" the older man asked.

Levi would've shrugged, "Never better," he answered sarcastically.

Kenny chuckled, "Fuck you."

They fell silent for a few seconds before Levi asked the question he'd been itching to let out.

"Did you do it?"

His uncle nodded almost immediately, "Course I did."

Levi sighed in relief, "Thanks."

"Your mother's gonna be so furious," Kenny commented as he stood up slowly.

"I know," Levi agreed.

Kenny looked down at him for a few more moments, then clapped a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently, "I'll handle her."

Levi nodded absently, "Thanks, Uncle Kenny."

The older man left the room with his head down, discreetly wiping away the tear that had escaped his eye the moment he was out of the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3pjWNQschC9cijLTfnxTT8


	3. novissime acutam

The next few days were actually sunny, the skies finally giving them a reprieve from the torrential rain. It pleased Levi immensely because that meant he doesn't have to stare at Hange's muddy sneakers any longer.

"Come on, Levi, don't be shy to admit it! _Ma vie de courgette_ is actually a good film and that you liked it!" She exclaimed as she crushed a tablet that he had to take for the afternoon. Levi sat by the doorway of the kitchen and he rolled his eyes.

"It _is_ a good film but I, personally, didn't like it," he droned.

She started to mix the medicine with water, "My sister liked it!"

"Tch. Your sister's probably half my age, may I just remind you," he quipped.

She transferred the drink onto his beaker, her hand automatically adjusting his straw for him to reach easily, "How old are you, anyway?" she raised an eyebrow and started to clean the countertop, leaving the mortar and pestle by the sink.

Levi took a sip, wincing slightly at the bitter taste that the drink left in his tongue, "Don't you know it's rude to ask a gentleman his age?" he replied sarcastically.

Hange snorted and crossed her arms, "Please, we both know your not a _gentleman_. The way you glare? That'd scare even the scariest man in the universe."

He glared at her, "Careful, now, four-eyes. You're hurting a _gentleman's_ feelings."

Her laughter filled the room, her brown eyes lighting up with mirth, "So what is it? How _young_ are you, really, Levi?"

He scowled and glared at her for a few seconds. Hange continued to grin at him. He bit the inside of his cheek.

"Thirty-four," he mumbled and hoped that his voice was low enough for her not to hear.

She fucking heard him, "Oh, you're only four years older than me! My sister's definitely _not_ half your age; she's 20, by the way."

He glared at her again, "Do you have the ears of an elephant or something?"

She shrugged, "Maybe? I mean, it's an unspoken requirement to have good hearing when you're working at a coffee shop."

It's his turn to raise an eyebrow, "You worked at a coffee shop?" he asked, mildly intrigued, and took another sip.

Hange filled the kettle with water and put over the stove, " _Still_ working at the coffee shop," she clarified, "My boss there allowed me to work every other night, even for lesser hours. I get the hunch that he just doesn't want to take in a newbie to hire and train again from scratch."

"You… mean to tell me that you're working two jobs, and that there are days that you come in here with little to no sleep?" he asked incredulously, his eyebrows furrowed.

She scratched the back of her neck sheepishly, "Well… yeah. But don't worry about it! I swear, I've gone through multiple no sleep period and I haven't screwed up yet, have I?"

"You do, you clean the furniture so lousily," he sneered, "Why do you have to work two jobs, anyway? Is the pay here not enough?"

She sighed and looked down at the counter, "Honestly? Not really. Don't get me wrong, Levi!" she quickly insisted when he opened his mouth, "The pay here is good – _more_ than good actually. But…" she faltered.

"But what?" he prodded almost harshly.

"But," she continued, unfazed by his outburst, her voice smaller than he was ever used to, "There's Nifa's tuition at the uni and her school needs that I had to worry about, the utilities and the rent and the huge debt that I had to think about. And, I was thinking of going back to uni next year if I can save up."

Levi didn't know what to say. He can vaguely remember that she told him a month ago about his sister being at the uni but he can't exactly remember the details because he mostly drowned out her babbles that day.

"Nifa even took some shifts at the coffee shop, just so she can chip in even a little. We're getting by these days, thanks to you," she said with a smile directed to him.

"Tch," he clicked his tongue, feeling warmth creeping up his cheeks that he fervently hoped she didn't see. Thankfully, she stood up and had her back to him, reaching up towards one of the overhead cabinets.

"Levi, you wouldn't mind it if I used this tea leaves, right?" she 'asked', holding up a box of black tea leaves.

He rolled his eyes, "Go ahead."

She grinned gratefully and placed a few leaves on an empty teapot, "There's so many tea in that cabinet! Why do you have that much?"

"I really like tea," he answered simply.

"Really?" she exclaimed as she poured the hot water on the teapot, "Why don't you try my brew? I swear to you, you won't regret it! Customers at the coffee shop always complimented my tea! Even Nifa was jealous that she couldn't get the way I make my tea."

"Yeah, I know that; you're always bragging about your tea," he retorted almost playfully.

"Hey! I don't brag about my creation. I only state mere facts, Mr. Ackerman, thank you very much."

He sighed, "Fine! Give me a cup later," he finally acquiesced.

She sat down again, "I promise you, you wouldn't regret it!"

"And what do I get in return if the taste of that 'tea' is less than satisfactory?" he challenged.

"Oh? Are you asking for a bet, Levi? Cause, I'm telling you, I'm up for it," she cajoled, a mischievous glint in her brown eyes.

"A bet? What, you've become an Erwin now?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about but sure. Maybe you're just a wuss," she added.

He glared at her, an annoyed growl in his throat, "What's in it for me?"

Her grin was triumphant, "Hmm, anything! You can make me clean the entire suite or arrange your books alphabetically or shut up for the whole day. Anything you want, really!"

He frowned and finished the last of his drink, "And what about you?"

"I get to cut your beard and your hair!" she exclaimed, as if it's the most wonderful thing she ever thought of.

His scowl deepened and he directed his glare to this insufferable woman, "Don't you fucking dare."

"Why not? Are you being a wuss again?"

"Are you trying to goad me? Because, I'm telling you, it's not working."

"You're sure you're only 34? You look like an old man with all that hair work," she teased, raising a hand to gesture widely at his face.

"Not working," he deadpanned.

"You can be Santa's replacement, by the way. We just have to bundle you up with so many red blankets."

"Still not working."

"Have I told you that you kinda looked like the grinch? The hair and the glare? Man, you're the perfect cosplay for that one – except you're not green."

He merely glared at her.

If possible, her grin only widened further, "Hey, you know about that brown, hairy monster in _Star Wars?_ What's it's name again? Ch-chu something?"

He sighed, "Fine!" he resigned, "I'm sure your tea's gonna taste like shit, anyway."

Hange stood up and gave him a mock salute, "Don't worry!" her grin was like the sun, "I'll make sure you'll look so good with your new haircut!"

He rolled his eyes, "Which will not happen because I _wouldn't_ like your tea, shitty glasses."

She snorted as she started to prepare the tea, "Hey! Stop badmouthing my glasses; they're very fashionable, I'll have you know!"

"Whatever. You're more like Chewbacca, anyway," he retorted as she carried the teacups, placing one on the countertop.

She stood before him, stirring the tea, "Eh? Why's that?"

The corner of his mouth almost lifted into a smirk, "Because you're all brown and I can't understand the things you say half the time."

Instead of getting offended, like most people would've reacted, she laughed heartily, "That's a good one, I'll give you that!" She then moved to stand right before him, her knee in between in his.

Levi's eyes widened at her proximity, "Oi, what the fuck are you doing?!" He exclaimed.

Her eyebrows furrowed, "Uh… giving you tea, of course."

"Put it on the beaker, you idiot!"

"It's too hot! This will probably burn your tongue if it's through the straw!" she protested as she bent down to be eye level with him, her focus still on swirling liquid in the teacup. Levi was lost for words, his heart thudding against his chest as he took in her long eyelashes, her rich brown eyes, her pink lips, her huge ass nose. A familiar flutter began to start inside his chest, which travelled upward, towards his face and he tried his hardest not to blush.

The feeling flew out the window when she lifted a teaspoon and took a sip using the damned spoon.

He frowned, "Disgusting."

She blinked and looked up, leaving the spoon in the tea, "What? Don't tell me you're a germs-and-cooties person too?"

"So what?" he sneered, "I could get infected by… whatever you have!"

She scoffed, "I'll have you know that I am perfectly healthy, Mr. Ackerman," she scoffed indignantly and brought a spoon up again, "Come on, open up!"

"No way!"

"You're being a wuss again! It wouldn't change the taste, you know?!"

"I don't care! That came from your mouth!"

"Come on Levi, open up! Here goes the plane!" she coaxed, carefully making the spoon move like a plane.

"I'm not a kid!" he growled and pursed his lips when she moved the silverware close to his mouth.

"You're _being_ a kid right now, Levi," she snickered, "Come on, don't you want me to clean the whole suite _properly_?"

His glare didn't falter and so did her grin. Levi scowled when he realized that this whole mess of a person wouldn't give up. With reluctance, he slightly opened his mouth, closing his eyes as he prepared for the worst taste he'll ever have to endure. She gently put the spoon in, making sure that all liquid went into his mouth.

His eyes snapped open at the unexpectedly pleasant taste that landed in his tongue.

Hange didn't miss the expression that he made, "Told you," she mumbled triumphantly, grinning so widely that Levi thought her face would split.

His scowl returned, "Fine, fine! You win," he barked, "Now, can I get my personal space back?"

Hange stepped away, "I told you I make the best tea in this entire city!" she bragged as she took his beaker and poured the remaining tea, "It's not that hot anymore, right?" she asked absentmindedly.

He rolled his eyes, "Yeah, like _I_ would know how the tea in this entire city tasted like."

"Now you know," she grinned and put the tea in the holder, "So, are you ready for your facial hair removal?"

"Let me finish my tea first, you impatient four-eyes."

* * *

"Don't you dare nick my face," he threatened, his chair tilted back as he looked up at the ceiling of his bathroom, now at the mercy of this messy haired person.

She snorted, "Oh no! I can already see the headlines for tomorrow now: ' _Levi Ackerman's face, nicked by a clumsy carer!_ ' What do you think?" she joked. She stood by the sink, trying to find the razor and shaving cream, if he had any.

He moved his head from side to side, "No, no, I'm not doing this anymore."

Hange finally came into his periphery, looking down at him with a reassuring smile and laid a hand on his shoulder "Levi, relax! I'll have you know that I know how to shave facial hair."

Without waiting for him to reply, she smeared a generous amount of cream onto his face.

He hissed, "You brag about so many things, I don't know which one to believe. That's cold, by the way," he commented.

"Hmm. I never bragged about my tea because it's actually good. And I can't do anything about the shaving cream, sorry. Probably because you hadn't used it in a long time?" she replied as she continued to apply the shaving cream.

He clicked his tongue, "Whatever. Can I close my eyes?"

"Sure."

It fell silent after that. His eye twitched when he felt the coolness of the razor on his skin but he soon relaxed as it slowly and gently ran over his cheek. She finished a line from his cheek to his chin and then there was some shuffling and sloshing of water.

"Hey," he spoke almost sleepily, "Shake that razor out before doing anything."

She merely hummed in response. This time, Levi can actually feel that she was leaning in closer, closer than before as she focused on the task at hand. He gulped, his mouth turning dry as her breaths fanned his face, her fingers gently holding the other side of his face and the heat of her fingertips warmed him from the inside. He almost opened his eyes, to see just how close she is to him right now, but he's also afraid to do so. And he just sat there, trying to keep his breathing even, trying not to think about her big, brown eyes, her pink lips, her nose…

He was startled when a soft towel ran over his face, "Is it done?" he asked, eyes still closed.

"Yep!" she confirmed as she gently ran the fabric across his face, "I think you dozed off, I tried to talk to you twice. Oh, and, I told you! No nicks!"

She removed the towel and Levi heard the soft thud it made as Hange threw it towards the hamper, "Fine, fine, you win again," he conceded, "Now, how are you gonna do the haircut?"

He moved his head a little to the side. He had to agree, his face _did_ felt lighter. When he opened his eyes, he saw Hange standing beside him, leaning slightly towards his level.

His breath hitched.

She still had one hand on one side of his face, a soft look in her deep brown eyes, her lips quirked up in a gentle smile that he never saw before. The sunlight from outside had seeped in through the small window and washed over her form, making her look like she had a halo. What he saw that moment, it made him want to take a picture. He couldn't help himself from smiling a little as well because _goddamnit_ she's rather… beautiful.

The moment was broken when his mother's voice echoed through the suite, the clicking of her heels shattering the peace that had settled between them. Hange straightened up immediately, adjusting his chair into an upright position just as his mother peered by the bathroom door, which they left open.

Kuchel's eyes widened, her lips stretching in a wide smile as she took in her son's clean face, "Levi! Oh, gosh, you look so handsome!"

Levi slightly tilted his head towards Hange, "I lost a bet against this shitty glasses," he stated simply. Kuchel turned her attention to the brunette, eyebrow quirked in question. Hange squirmed before raising her eyes.

"Um, we had a little bet that, if he liked the way I made my tea, I'll shave his beard and I won. Ma'am," she hastily added. It almost made Levi chuckle. _Interesting._

"Really? That's… good, Hange Zoë. And you did a good job with shaving his beard off. Am I right?"

"No nicks, ma'am, I assure you."

Kuchel nodded and gave Levi another smile, "That suits you better, Levi."

"Thanks, mom," he replied shortly.

Kuchel inhaled deeply, "Well, I'll leave you two for a while. I have a short business call to take care of, okay?"

She left when she received affirmations from the two. Levi turned his head to give Hange an amused look.

"You're afraid of my _mom_?" he whispered incredulously.

"Shut up!" She hissed as knelt down to adjust his feet on the footrests, "Your mom is _plenty_ intimidating! Oh and, to answer your question, we'll not be doing your haircut today; I have to look up some acceptable hairdos – one that'll not give your mom a heart attack – aside from Mohawk."

He snorted and, once she's upright, he moved his chair forward and out of the bathroom, both thankful and startled at what transpired in there.

* * *

When Hange didn't show up for work the next day, he only assumed that she fell sick. That woman had been working two jobs for almost three months now and she's probably a lot more tired than she had let on. She persevered, despite the cards that she was dealt with.

But when she didn't come in the next day, or the next or the next, he started to wonder. Had he done something wrong? Said something?

"Maybe it's her sister," Erwin tried to placate his unvoiced worries, "She told us she had a sister, right? Maybe she's the one who's sick. We both know Hange loves her sister so much."

"Tch," was his only response as he tried to focus on the film that Erwin inserted into the DVD player.

A week had gone by. They're getting worried when he refused to eat.

He should've expected this. People, especially in his experience, they come and go. But he didn't expect this to be… to be so fucking _painful._ He felt her absence keenly, a little too much than he cared. The suite had reverted back to its stillness; the solitude had wrapped around him again like a hot quilt that he wanted nothing but to shake off. He used to like the silence, but, nowadays, it was almost deafening. There's not a speck of dust on top the shelf, no discarded dishes on the pristine sink.

He tried so hard not to let it bother him but he's doing a rather shitty job doing it. Kenny noticed and teased him about it until Levi barked at him to fuck off. Erwin tried to reassure him, feeding him false reassurances that sounded like little white lies in Levi's ears. Kuchel only apologized, promised him that she would find him another carer. He only glared at her until she left his room.

He should've known that Hange Zoë's not here to stay. Because everybody fucking leaves his life.

* * *

_**A week ago.** _

"Ms. Kuchel told me about what you did for Levi today," Erwin greeted as he removed his coat and put his bag down near the door.

Hange laughed, securing the button of her own coat above her waist and shouldering her backpack, "Never underestimate the power of my tea, Erwin!" She boasted.

He chuckled, smoothing a hand down his scrub, "Yeah? Well, I'll try them, then, one of these days," he stated, opening his shoulder bag to get his scrubs.

"Oh, wait!" Hange laid a hand on Erwin's arm, making him pause, "Do you know where Ms. Kuchel is? I _really_ need to talk to her."

"I think she's in the living room," he replied.

"Thanks, Erwin!"

"Oi!" Levi's irritated voice sounded from the rec room, "Keep it down! I can barely hear this movie with your chatting."

The two looked at each other and laughed.

"I'll take over from here, Hange," Erwin said once they settled down, "Stay safe on your ride home."

She gave the blond a smile, "Thanks, Erwin. Bye, Levi!" she exclaimed the last part, snickering as she heard his muffled voice mumbling, ' _Too fucking noisy.'_

She walked slowly towards the living room, trying to gather her courage and the correct words in what she was about to tell the older woman. Nifa needed some textbooks and law textbooks were so expensive, the little amount that she managed to save were still not enough. She's not used to asking bosses for cash advance but…

She was close to the living room when she heard yelling coming from the inside. Alarmed, she ran towards the door and tightly grasped the knob, leaning closer against the wood and preparing herself to attack whoever is on the other side. She was shocked, though, when she heard Kuchel's furious voice.

" – have no right, Kenny! He's _my son!"_

"Yes, he's your son! But he still has his wants, his needs!" Kenny's voice was louder than Hange was used to hear and she flinched.

_Wait, are they talking about Levi?_

"And that's exactly what I'm doing! What do you think I'm doing?!" she shouted indignantly.

"You're not letting him live the way he wanted! To di –"

"Don't you dare say that word," Kuchel warned and then she scoffed, "A DNR, Kenny?! You think _that_ will let him live?!"

"It's what he wanted."

Something crashed to the floor, the sound of shattering glass echoed, making Hange flinch again, "He's _sick!_ Did you honestly think he meant what he said he wanted?!"

"Stop treating your son like a boy, Kuchel!" he roared, "He's a _man_ capable of making his own decisions about his _own_ life!"

There was a long pause and then a sob echoed.

"I can't do this, Kenny," Kuchel cried, "He's my son. I can't watch my boy die, even if it's his own choice."

Kenny didn't speak for a long time as Kuchel cried and sobbed. Hange didn't understand a thing from what they were fighting of but she's not that dim not to recognize that her concern can wait until tomorrow. She let go of the doorknob and slowly backed away from the door.

"A do-not-resuscitate order," Kuchel sobbed, "Kenny, how could you?"

The puzzle pieces came together in Hange's mind and she ran away from the door.

Hange quickly wiped her eyes when she heard the front door open, plastering a grin on her face as she heard her sister's footsteps echo through their tiny apartment. She placed the fried fish onto a plate and put kettle on the stove.

"Hi," Nifa greeted with a weary smile, letting her bag slide off her shoulders and land heavily onto the wooden floor.

"Hi!" Hange managed to sound cheerful, settling the plate on the center of the table, "How's your day?"

"Tiring," the younger woman sighed, "The professors were really demanding about those textbooks."

The brunette's false demeanor quickly fell. She was hoping that she could have this conversation with her a little later, maybe after they've eaten, so Nifa wouldn't lose her appetite.

Nifa saw the way her face fell and she quickly asked worriedly, "Hey, what's wrong?"

She took a deep breath, "Yeah, about that…" she spoke slowly, "I… don't think we'll be able to buy them just yet. But don't worry! I'll take more shifts at the coffee shop, it'll not be long before we can buy those books. Alright?"

Nifa had always been astute and this time was no exception, "Hange," she spoke cautiously and laid a comforting hand on top of hers, "Did something happen at the Ackermans?"

Hange gulped, the words from earlier still echoing inside her head and her tongue suddenly felt heavy inside her mouth. She thought about it long and deep when she got back to their apartment and had reached a decision while she waited for the fish to thaw. She's not sure if it's not the right decision to make but what she heard earlier went against the morals that she was taught ever since she was a kid. She contemplated if she should tell Nifa about it – to relieve her chest of some weight – but seeing the fatigue in her sister's eyes, the weariness that weighed heavily on her shoulders, Hange ultimately decided against it.

"I… I wouldn't be coming back to the Ackermans," she whispered.

Nifa's eyes widened slightly, her hand beginning to slip until she tightened her grip.

"It's alright, Hange," she said, rubbing comforting circle at the back of Hange's hand, "I understand."

_But you don't. I'm being selfish and I really, really, really feel bad about it._

Hange laid her head on the counter and yawned loudly, earning her a glare from their lone customer that night that she pointedly ignored.

She took in more shifts at the coffee shop, which is a very bad idea when she's losing sleep, thinking about her decision every night. She would lay on the mattress, looking up at the peeling paint of their ceiling and she couldn't help the regret that swelled in her chest, which grew every passing day that she's not in the Ackerman's.

Was it the right decision to leave them? She, herself, is not sure. But, every day, she would get up feel the heavy weight of her choice pushing down her chest, thinking about the fact that Levi Ackerman had opted out of any medical care in case of cardiopulmonary arrest, that his own _uncle_ supported him and helped him in his decision.

She had always been taught that she needed to fight: if there's an option, she would choose what's best even if it's the harder option. If there's another way, she would pursue it. The thought that someone doesn't want to be treated – _wouldn't_ want to be treated – even if such choice is presented leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. _To not want resuscitation when the heart stopped beating and the lungs stopped taking in air…_

But she felt guilty that she left just like that. Kuchel Ackerman had been calling her every day and had left four voicemails already but she didn't respond. She doesn't know what to say to the poor woman who had to look for another applicant, another person that she had to interview for the sake of her son. And her son…

Gosh, Hange actually missed Levi. Sure, he's not the easiest person to be around with; he can be calloused and careless with his words, he glares at her most of the time, he can be moody. But, these last few weeks, they've actually been getting along. He doesn't glare at her that much anymore, he talked to her, responded properly to her questions, they would engage in a playful banter.

Hange, in her short stint with Levi, had grown to know the man underneath the hard exterior: he's funny, kind and compassionate. He's the type of person to say honest things, even if it hurt other people. He's observant, able to tell if his mother had a bad day at work and he'd try his best to soften his words. He would wager with Erwin over the littlest things, from the color of her shirt when she goes to work to the winning team of the baseball match. He'd keep up with her teasing, throwing another lighthearted insult on her direction that would make her laugh.

_And he has a nice smile._

Hange blushed at the memory in that bathroom on her last day. She was mesmerized at the sight of his clean shaven face and she couldn't help the smile that made it's way to her lips when excess shaving cream was wiped away. And then he smiled, just the little quirking of the corners of his lips, his eyes looking at her with an unfamiliar expression of gentleness that made her cheeks heat up, her chest filling up with emotions.

The bell above the door chimed and Hange immediately lifted her head. Her eyes widened at the sight of Kuchel Ackerman walking into the coffee shop, her calculating gaze pinning Hange on where she stood. She walked towards the counter with purpose, her fingers tight around the handbag that she carried. Hange was dumbfounded; it was almost midnight, what's this woman doing here?

Hange opened her mouth to speak but Kuchel beat her to it, "I want to talk to you. Alone," she said firmly.

"I-I'm sorry, ma'am," Hange stuttered, "My break's still 5 minutes away."

Kuchel raised an eyebrow and gestured around the mostly empty place, "I don't see any other person here, Hange," she argued then sighed lightly, "How about this, we'll talk now. And, if a customer walks in, you can go back to this counter."

She knew there's no way out. Kuchel led them to the table farthest from the other customer, putting her bag down on her lap.

"Look," she began the moment they sat down, "I don't know what this is about. Is it the money? We'll have no problem with that, just –"

"It's not the money, Ms. Kuchel," she interjected.

"Then what is it? You suddenly left without telling anybody and you're not returning my calls! Is it my son? Is he being a handful to you?"

"No!" she answered, "Please, Ms. Kuchel. Please understand that I can't come back as Levi's carer."

"But why? Because let me tell you, Levi is even more miserable now that you're not there. He's not eating properly, sometimes he doesn't even want to eat."

Hange closed her eyes and dragged a hand down her face, "I heard you and Kenny arguing," she confessed.

Kuchel's eyebrows furrowed in confusion then widened in realization, "Oh," she muttered, clasping her hands together on the table, "So you know," she said coolly.

"Yes," the brunette confirmed.

Kuchel looked up and, for a moment, there was only silence between them. Hange felt that the woman was trying to gather her wits, trying to decide if she should tell the younger woman or not.

"Levi had always been the introverted type," Kuchel quietly recalled, a hint of nostalgia creeping into her voice, "He's the child who played with the Legos by himself of the corner of the room, the kid who would rather spend the day on his Gameboy than be outside, he was the man who buried himself with work but would gladly jump on the opportunity of a vacation."

Kuchel sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear, "All that went out the window when the accident happened. I'm sure that, by now, you already know. He was such an workaholic person, he risked himself just to get the job done. When we finally told him that he can no longer walk nor do anything by himself, it was like… he crawled inside a shell. We can't get him out, no matter how hard we tried. He thought his disability had now become a definition of him and he refused to do anything else. He rarely used a full sentence to talk to us, he doesn't want people to see him, he doesn't want to go out. He became depressed.

"But when you started to work with him, he… changed. It was small, at first. A tiny smile there, a passing compliment on another. And then he's talking with us freely, giving us small smiles when we walk into his room, joking with you. These past few weeks had actually been the best ones. You managed to get him to cut his beard, which I suggested more than a few times. But… there's something in you that he sees," Kuchel said, her dark eyes glinting with tears.

"Ms. Kuchel…" Hange was lost for words. She didn't expect the woman to tell her those things, that she trusted her enough, a mere carer of her son, to utter those words.

"DNRs… they can still be dissolved if the requestor asked for it," Kuchel continued, "Levi asked his doctors for it before you began working for us, Kenny helped him with it and it was – the confirmation only arrived last week and I was the one who received it, reason why I was arguing with Kenny. "

Kuchel took her hand in hers, "So, Hange, please," she pleaded, "Please, _please,_ come back to us. Maybe your presence there can change his mind, maybe _you_ can change his mind. We don't have much time left; people who are quadriplegic are more susceptible to infection and anything that infects him can result in a life and death situation. We need you, Hange, _Levi_ needs you."

Hange closed her eyes tightly and released her breath slowly, "I'll be back tomorrow morning," she muttered.

The relief on Kuchel's face was her solace.

* * *

Hange stood before his bedroom door, her nerves frayed and allover the place as she stared at the knob. Kuchel told her that Erwin's still inside and had not yet come out since he arrived. She took relief in that; maybe Levi wouldn't be so mad with Erwin still inside.

She knocked on the door twice before she grasped the knob and twisted it. Her eyes widened when she found Levi still on his bed, the upper part of his body tilted upwards with several pillows, with Erwin adjusting his straw for him. Both men turned their heads at the sound of the door opening.

"You're back!" Erwin exclaimed with a grin while Levi muttered, "The fuck you doing here?" at the same time.

She chose not to reply to both their statements, "What's going on?" she asked, putting her bag down onto the floor.

Erwin frowned worriedly and he began to lower Levi onto the mattress, "He's running a slight fever," he answered, not meeting anyone's eyes and bringing the blanket up to Levi's chin, "It's probably nothing but we still need to monitor his condition."

Hange nodded in understanding and sat down by the edge of his bed. She raised her hand to touch his forehead but Levi turned his head, pressing his cheek against the pillow. She recoiled her hand and tried hard not to feel hurt.

"Hange," Erwin called, "Let's go. I need to tell you what you need to give Levi."

Hange stood up and followed Erwin to the kitchen. The blond moved towards the overhead cabinet, taking out two bottles of medicines.

"He needs to take paracetamol every four hours and antibiotics every six hours. You'll have to crush both since they're quite big and – "

"Do you know?" Hange observed. Erwin had been acting off ever since she came in.

He sighed and sat down on the stool, "Ms. Kuchel told me yesterday," he replied truthfully, clasping his hands together as he looked down at the countertop, "I, honestly, don't know how to react or what to say. He's my first patient to want a DNR order and I've already dealt with so many disabled cases before."

Hange laid a comforting hand on his shoulder, "But a DNR can be revoked," she assured, "Ms. Kuchel told me."

"Yeah, but…" Erwin ran a hand down his face, "Levi… his… he's a stubborn guy and, when he puts his mind onto something, he'd… it would take a lot to convince him, otherwise."

She gently squeezed his shoulder, "He'll revoke it," she determined as she looked down at his confused blue eyes, "Because, I'll have you know, I'm pretty stubborn, too."

* * *

When they returned to Levi's bedroom, he had already fallen asleep, his eyebrows furrowed as if he's in distress. Erwin checked his temperature, sighing as he looked at the scanner.

"You should monitor his temp every three hours," Erwin said as he moved towards the door and taking his coat from the rack, "I gave him the meds at around 8 so, remember –"

"Paracetamol every 4 hours, antibiotic every 6. Yeah, got it," she interjected.

Erwin smiled, "You're learning," he commented, "You can put a cool towel on his forehead to help lower his temp. If he goes beyond 38, call me and inform Ms. Kuchel immediately. I'll be back by noon."

Hange gulped nervously but she nodded nonetheless, "Okay."

When Erwin left, Hange lingered on the doorway of Levi's bedroom, frowning worriedly as she watched the sick man turn his head to the side, beads of sweat starting to form on his eyebrows. The guilt in her chest grew, forcefully turning herself away from his form. She inhaled a deep breath and started to walk towards the kitchen determinedly. She took what she needed as quickly as she can and half-ran back to his bedroom.

She carefully sat down at the edge of his bed, setting the basin down on the stool and dipping a small towel into the cold water. She wrung out the excess water and turned her body to fully face Levi, her arm extended towards his head only to find him already awake, staring at her with bleary eyes.

"The fuck are you doing?" he demanded weakly, his words slightly garbled.

"Taking care of you, of course," she replied, her voice soft as she tried to settle the towel on his forehead but failed when he turned his head away. She withdrew her hand, fingers tight around the wet fabric.

He scoffed, "I don't need you to take care of me."

"Yes, you do," she argued.

"No, I don't. You left your job for a week without notifying anyone, that means you were AWOL, hence you're no longer welcome here," he spoke, his voice reverting back to its old tone that dripped with bitterness and contempt.

But Hange wouldn't let that deter her. She already endured him when he was like this. She can deal with this version of Levi again.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, looking at him directly to let him see her sincerity, "I have no excuse. I'm sorry I left just like that. And, if you really want to, I can leave later. But, not now, not when you're like this. Please, Levi, let me take care of you."

They stared at each other for a long time and she didn't dare to look away. She'll let him see that her intentions are genuine, that she really wanted to take care of him, to help through this and change his mind. Morality be damned.

Hange saw the guarded look in his eyes starting to melt and she took that as a sign. She tentatively raised her hands again and brushed away the stray strand stuck on his forehead. Gently, she wiped the cold towel on his face and neck, dipping the fabric onto the cold water again and putting the neatly folded towel on his forehead. All the while, she can feel his eyes following her movements, his eyebrows slightly scrunched in puzzlement.

"Do you want to eat something? Or maybe tea?" she asked, voice still soft.

He shook his head.

"Alright then. You can go to sleep if you want; I'll wake you up when it's time to drink your meds," she suggested. She took the towel again and repeated the process a few more times before he spoke again.

"Why did you leave, Hange?" he asked, voice thick with drowsiness, "I thought… you were different."

Her eyes snapped to his and she saw that his dark eyes were already halfway closed and unfocused, sleep already dragging him. The words were heavy on her tongue and she swallowed.

"Sleep, Levi," she whispered.

Just before his eyes fully closed, he managed to mutter, "I missed you."

* * *

It had started to drizzle when Erwin arrived at the suite and Hange was left with no choice but to stay inside the manor. She went to the kitchen and boiled some water when her phone vibrated from her pocket. It was a message from Nifa. She dragged a hand down her face and opted not to respond. She hadn't told her sister yet of her impromptu decision of going back to the Ackermans and she's not about to have that conversation with her over text. She laid her head on the corner, pillowed only by her arm, and closed her eyes.

What Levi said to her before he slept was stuck in her head, bouncing around her mind. The way he said those words made her realize that she missed him too; the relief of looking at him again, in the flesh, made her chest flutter in the most unexpected yet pleasant way, like a bunch of butterflies had made its way inside her and made her all squeamish but in weird, happy way.

She was startled by the whistling of the kettle shaking her out of her reverie. She stood up and started to make tea, filling the teapot in case Erwin wants a cup. She wrapped both hands around the cup and stared outside through the window.

* * *

Hange took a worried glance out the window, watching the rain patter heavily against the glass. The rainstorm had returned in full blow and she's pretty certain that it's not about to let up soon. She set the glass on the bedside table and gently shook Levi awake.

"Hey, Levi," she mumbled, "It's time for your meds."

The man slowly opened his eyes, squinting slightly, "What time is it?"

"A little past four," she answered distractedly, gathering the pillows closer to her, "Okay, ready?"

He nodded in confirmation. She sat on the bed and then leaned forward, putting one hand securely behind his head and the other arm around his shoulder. With his forehead pressing against her collarbone, Hange hoisted him up into a somewhat upright position, removing the arm around his shoulders for a little while to stack the pillows properly. Once done, she gently pushed his form against the pillows, his body now tilted into a sitting position.

"Are you comfortable?" she asked as she poured the liquid onto his beaker and adjusted his straw to be closer to his mouth.

He took a sip and then nodded, "It's dark," he commented.

She smiled a little, "Yeah, the rain's pretty heavy today. I made pumpkin soup, do you want to eat?"

"Not yet. Maybe later."

Her smile turned a tad bit teasing, trying to coax him from his shell, "What, didn't you miss my fabulous cooking?"

Levi quirked an eyebrow and then his eyes widened slightly in realization, turning his head slightly to avoid her amused gaze. To Hange, he almost looked _bashful._

"Don't flatter yourself too much, four-eyes," he retorted belatedly, still not meeting her gaze.

She snorted, "Too late for that, clean freak. I know you like my cooking _and_ my tea because they're the best."

He clicked his tongue, "Yeah, sure. Whatever makes you sleep at night," he relied sarcastically.

She laughed lightly, "Thank you very much for your admission, Mr. Ackerman."

"You already have bad eyesight, you're telling me you have bad hearing too?" He asked incredulously after swallowing the last of his drink and she deftly moved the straw away.

"Huh? What are you taking about?"

Levi rolled his eyes in exasperation, an almost imperceptible blush on his cheeks, "I didn't just missed the food or the fucking tea. I missed _you_."

Hange blinked once, twice, before she felt her own cheeks heating up. The butterflies in her stomach went wild again, their wings fluttering wildly. She can't help the delightful grin that grew on her lips as she tucked the errant hair away from his eyes.

"I missed you too, you midget," she confessed, her fingertips brushing against his cheek.

He scoffed, "Whatever," he quipped playfully, "Can I have that soup now?"

She stood up, taking the beaker and the straw to wash, "On it, boss!"

She walked towards the kitchen with a spring in her step and humming under her breath. She left the beaker and straw on the sink, popped the bowl of soup in the microwave and hopped around the kitchen with her arms spread on her sides. The smile never left her lips and she felt the warm feeling in her chest spread down to her toes.

When her phone vibrated, she immediately accepted the call and answered the person on the other line with a cheerful, "Hello!"

"Hange!" Erwin's alarmed voice greeted her, the sound of the heavy rain loud in the background, "Hey, I don't think I can make it tonight!"

She came down from her high, blinking in confusion as his words registered in her brain, "You… what?"

"I don't think I can make it tonight," he repeated, "There's a flood here downtown and I'm stranded here god knows how long."

Hange paused for a moment, "Erwin! I don't have the faintest idea how to –"

"You'll be fine, Hange!" he assured quickly, "It's not that hard, okay? Just give him the meds he needed for the night – its on the list – and, of course, paracetamol and antibiotic. Empty his catheter; don't let it get full. How is he?"

She pressed her fingers against her temples, pacing the kitchen, "His fever had gone down," she replied, "Erwin, I don't know –"

"Hange," he interjected, his voice soothing, "It's not that hard, I swear. Everything is on the list, okay? Call me if you're confused. I'll try to get there the moment this flood goes down, I swear."

Hange ran her hand through her hair and sighed in resignation, "Fine. Stay safe, Erwin."

"I'll try to. Call me, okay?"

"Yeah, thanks."

The microwave beeped but she ignored it, dialing her sister's number and bringing the phone to her ear once more. Nifa picked up the call on the third ring.

"Hange, where are you?" Nifa exclaimed, "You didn't answer my text and I'm so worried!"

"Yeah, sorry about that. Listen, I may not be coming home tonight, okay? I'll explain to you when I get home, bye!" she all said in a rush, ending the call before Nifa had the chance to protest. She ignored the vibrating of her phone.

* * *

"I come bearing good news and bad news," she announced as she stepped into the room, tray on her hands that she set on the bedside table.

Levi frowned inquisitively, "What do you mean?"

"Well, the bad news is that Erwin wouldn't be coming tonight cause he's stranded," she stirred the soup a little, trying to let off some steam from the bowl.

He blinked, "What?"

"Yeah," she mumbled as she scooped a small amount of soup, "But the good news is, I'll be your company for the night!"

"Tch. How lovely," he muttered.

She brought the spoon to his mouth, "That's not what you said earlier," she teased in a singsong voice.

"I should've known that you'd gloat about it," he remarked.

"Oh, come on!" She whined as she brought another spoonful into his mouth, "Let me have this! It's not everyday that a Levi Ackerman tells me that he missed me."

He scowled but said nothing.

She snickered, "By the way, I found the perfect haircut for you!"

He groaned, "Please, for the love of all holy, _please_ don't give me a bowl cut."

"Levi! I would never!" she protested and then smirked, "Would I?"

He rolled his eyes, "That's it, I'm firing you."

She laughed heartily, wiping a dribble from the corner of his mouth with his thumb absently, "I'm just kidding, Levi!" she said between giggles, "I promise you it's not anything ridiculous."

He glared at her, "Make sure of it," he warned.

"I will! I do hereby, solemnly, swear that the haircut that I chose for you is absolutely not ridiculous. Let's do it once you feel better! What do you say?"

He scoffed and swallowed the last of the soup, "Like I can convince you otherwise."

"Thought so," she grinned and took the dishes back to the kitchen, coming back to his bedroom with his beaker filled with water.

"We can't really do anything today," she mused once she put the straw close to his mouth, her eyes drawn towards the pattering of the raindrops against the window, "20 questions?"

"Pass," the man answered immediately.

"Truth or dare?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"Uh, eyespy?"

"What are you gonna suggest next? Twister?"

She laughed awkwardly, "Sorry," she apologized.

Levi sighed, "Tch, just tell me anything, shitty glasses."

"Huh? What?"

He sneered, "You sure you don't have to get your ears checked?"

"I heard you!" she insisted, "I'm just… not sure what to tell you?"

He exhaled sharply, "Fine. You said you wanted to go back to uni, right?"

She blinked at the odd question, "Yeah, maybe next year?"

Levi nodded slightly, "What's your degree?"

"My father always wanted me to be an engineer," she answered before her lips quirked up into a smile, "We're playing 20 questions now?"

"Tch, don't be ridiculous," he denied, "I just want to know more about you."

Hange sat comfortably at the edge of his bed and toeing her shoes off, "Okay, hmm… well, my father wanted to be an engineer but that's like his unattained dream. My mother died of cancer when I was 12 and, for a while, our father tried to take care of me and my sister. But… I don't really know what happened but, one day, he just left us with my aunt and never came back. I don't know where he's at now."

Levi's eyes widened and she saw the guilt that started to creep into his expression, "It's alright! It was a long time ago, anyways and we're doing fine."

He gulped, "Still, I – "

"Don't be, Levi," she assured with a smile, "But yeah, my father. He was always making these woodworks around: birdhouse, a cabinet, a table and he told me that it had always been his dream to become an engineer, which my mother supported. And I just kind of went along with it, you know? When my mother died and my father left, I tried to like engineering. I tried making those little birdhouse that my father made, but the only thing I accomplished was bruising my fingertips!" she laughed, which earned her a tiny small from Levi.

"I only managed to complete one semester of engineering because my aunt was already kicking us out from her house and I had to work for me and my sister," she finished.

Levi nodded distractedly, "Uh-huh," he muttered, "But did you like engineering?"

"I'd… like to pursue it; like a legacy of my parents, you know?"

He glared at her, "That's the shittiest thing I've ever heard from you, four-eyes."

"Huh? What did I do this time?"

"You're telling me that you only wanted to take an engineering degree because that's what you're parents wanted?" he pointed out.

"… in a nutshell, yes," she reluctantly agreed.

He sighed heavily, "What degree did you _want_ to take that's not influenced by your parents?"

Hange wracked her brain, trying to think of the time when her father wasn't telling her to draw another line or her mother encouraging her to fulfill her father's dream, "When I was a kid," she started, "I was really fascinated with plants. Big or small, tall or short, flowers or trees. I really like them that I once collected one leaf from every tree and plant that I came across with in our neighborhood!

"Oh, and I really like the stars, the moon, the planets. I always borrowed books about the solar system when I was a kid. Do you ever wonder how much we don't know about the universe? We're nothing but a speck of dust compared to the entire galaxy, much less the universe," she mused and then chuckled, "Is it weird? Am I being weird?"

"No," he answered right away, "So, you wanted to be a botany and astronomy."

"Yeah," she grinned.

"Then fuck engineering," he said.

Her eyes widened, "What? No, my parents wanted me to be engineer and I'm gonna make that dream come true for them."

"And where are your parents, shitty glasses?" he challenged, "What _you_ want is what matters now _,_ Hange, not the wants of the people that's no longer present. So, yes, fuck engineering and be the best fucking botanist or astronomer. Hell, be the best botanist _and_ astronomer out there," he concluded with a glare.

She blinked, "Is… that your idea of a pep talk?"

"Yes," he deadpanned.

She studied him for a little bit longer before speaking again, "You're really not the most eloquent person around," she noted with a small smile.

"Tch, you get what I meant."

"I do, Levi, I do."

Levi fell asleep around half-past six, talking about everything and nothing. Hange told him about Nifa's degree and their nagging aunt, the noisy lady at the apartment above them, the regular customer that she had at the coffee shop.

While he slept, Hange used the time to look up units and tuition at the nearest university that offered her preferred degree.

* * *

The rain had dissipated into a drizzle when Levi opened his eyes again, his mind still heavy with sleep. He turned his head to the side and saw Hange, sleeping with the upper part of her body draped uncomfortably on the side of his bed, her arm pillowing her head. She had removed her eyeglasses, which now lay discarded near her hand.

He recalled the way she apologized, her voice ringing with sincerity that left no room for doubts. He remembered the way her eyes lit up while talking about her interests, the excited movements of her hands as she talked about the flowers, trees, stars.

Levi stared at her sleeping form, her hand so near his and he wanted to grab it, to feel the warmth of her palm against his own, to intertwine their fingers the way lovers do. A galaxy of emotions exploded in his chest and he thought that he wouldn't really mind waking up to that face every morning.

* * *

Erwin actually managed to arrived at the Ackerman's manor a little past nine, when Levi was already sleeping soundly and Hange was reading a book on a chair.

"Go home, Hange," Erwin whispered once Hange's eyes opened, "Sorry it took me so long."

She rubbed her eyes, glancing briefly at the now sleeping man on the middle of the bed, "It's okay," she yawned, "I'll be back tomorrow. Good night, Erwin."

On the ride home, Hange contemplated hard on how she will tell her sister about her decision, apprehension settling on the pit of her stomach as she slid the key into the knob, slowly opening the door in case Nifa's already sleeping. But she was not entirely surprised when she found her sister sitting on the couch with her arms crossed.

"Before you scold me," Hange quickly interjected when Nifa opened her mouth, "I just want to say I'm sorry that I made you worry. As you can see, I'm alright, I'm safe."

"Hange, you were out all day and then you left a very vague statement that you may not come home! Of course, I'll worry!" she admonished.

The brunette cringed and sat down beside her, "Yeah, I really am sorry, Nifa," she apologized.

The young woman sighed, "You have some explaining to do, Hange Zoë."

Hange took a deep breath, "So, um… I went back to the Ackermans."

Nifa opened her mouth to protest but Hange beat her to it, "Wait! Let me explain first, okay? Yes, I decided to go back to them. No, nobody forced me to come back, I came back there on my own volition. Ms. Ackerman offered to raise my pay to 14 per hour so I decided to take it."

"You said you don't want to come back there anymore," Nifa accused.

"Yeah, I know I said that," Hange admitted and took her sister's hand in hers, "But we really need the money, Nifa. "

Nifa pouted, "Then why did you come home late? Your shift should've ended by 6, right?"

She sighed, "Yeah but the private nurse ran late because he got stranded due to the flood downtown."

Nifa's eyes narrowed suspiciously, "Why do I get the feeling that there's something you're not telling me?"

Hange laughed and stood up, taking her bag to their bedroom, "I have no idea what you're talking about, little sister."

* * *

"Hey, what do you want to do today? It's actually a nice day out!" she pointed out as she smoothed a hand down her shirt after feeding him. The weather had gone on a full 360, the sun shining brightly outside with only the lingering chill of the rain last night in crisp in the air.

"Don't you dare take me outside," he threatened darkly.

"I didn't mean out _out!_ I mean, by the garden, you know?" She clarified, "Your mother takes really good care of the garden, by the way," she added as she opened his closet.

"Hey! What are you doing?"

"I'm looking for your jacket, obviously, clean-freak," she replied, pulling out a windbreaker and walked over to him with a grin, "Come on, let's go! Maybe a little sun will help you feel better."

Levi can only glare as the bespectacled woman leaned closer to carefully put the windbreaker on him. She actually smelled… _nice,_ nicer than he thought. Her proximity alerted him and his heart pounded inside his chest as he looked at her face, felt her breath fan his cheek as she looked down at his chest to zip the windbreaker.

"Alright," she surmised, taking a step back and giving him a nod, "So let's go?"

Levi squinted his eyes as the harsh glare of the sun hit his face, tilting his head down slightly to avoid the rays. He was surprised, however, when Hange ran ahead of him, whooping all the way.

"What the fuck, four-eyes?!" He asked incredulously as he steered the chair to where she stood.

She looked back at him with bright grin, eyes squinted slightly, "Isn't this amazing, Levi?" she exclaimed, "After the storm last night, we get this shining, shimmering, splendid sun!"

"Did you just quote _Aladdin?"_

"So what if I did?" she retorted, closing her eyes and tilting her head back, letting the heat of the sun hit her face. His breath hitched as he stared at her form, bathed in the sun and looking ethereal right before his eyes.

She opened her eyes, looking at him with amusement and worry, "What, no witty comeback?" she asked once he's close enough, making Levi snap out of his daze and scowled at her.

"Shut up, shitty glasses."

She laughed, vibrant and rich, that lifted his spirits a bit. He's still slightly cold and a little tired from his fever last night but the heat of the sun felt good on his face. Hange slowly walked along the flowerbed, Levi following close behind, her fingers brushing against the leaves.

"Hey, wanna hear a fun fact about flowers?" she suggested, facing him and walking backwards.

Levi sighed exasperatedly, "You-"

"Did you know that roses are related to almonds, apples and a few more fruits? It's because they belong in the _rosaceae_ family of plants," she recited, plucking a petal off of a fallen rose.

"Aren't you a show-off," he deadpanned.

"Please," she grinned, "I'm actually surprised that I remember some of them! Here, listen to this one: there was a time in the World War where tulip bulbs were used as a substitute for onions!"

"So you're telling me that, if we're running out of onions, we can just use tulips? How amazing, let me just run to the flower shop, real quick," he replied sarcastically.

She laughed, "Well, not too much! Back in 1970s, there were people who used 6 tulip bulbs for soup and were poisoned."

"Amazing. I get to eat tulips _and_ get food poisoning."

"What's your favorite flower, Levi?" she asked suddenly, "I bet I could remember a fact about that one."

"I already learned enough about betting against you," he muttered, "Lotus. I used to like lotus."

"Hmm, interesting," she mumbled, rubbing a finger on her chin in contemplation, until her face lit up, "Did you know that lotuses were considered sacred in ancient Egypt, so much that they were used in burial rites? That's because lotus would lay dormant when it's the dry season, which happened frequently in Egypt, but – here's the catch! – it would bloom again when there's enough rain and water. Ancient Egyptians viewed this as symbolism of resurrection, rebirth and eternal life."

He looked up at her, bafflement evident on his face, "That… is really interesting. I like it."

"I knew you would. You're welcome!" she replied with a mock curtsey in front of him.

"That's not even a proper curtsey," he scoffed.

"Ha! Like I ever cared about curtseys."

"That's funny because you did one just now."

"You're a clean-freak, a germaphobe _and_ a curtsey-critic now?"

"Unlike you, you filthy, messy nerd."

"Like you weren't sniffing me earlier?"

Levi felt his cheeks flaming and he averted his eyes from her smug grin, looking at the flowerbed instead.

"Thought I didn't notice?" she said in a singsong voice.

He glared, "So? You smell nice, that's it. You probably used a whole fucking bottle of cologne or something."

She put a hand on her chest in mock offense, "I'll have you know, Mr. Ackerman, that I took a bath this morning and that I do take a bath every once in a while."

His glared intensified, " _Once in a while?_ " He mimicked in disgust, "If I can shudder in disgust, I will."

"What? What's wrong with that?"

"Bathing is done every. Fucking. Day," he emphasized.

"Oh, come on Levi! I take a bath every other day!"

"Still not enough!"

"It _is_ enough! I used to bathe every _three_ days."

He grimaced, "You are so fucking disgusting. Get away, get away from me you filthy, stinky monster."

Hange did the opposite. She took another step towards him and another, a mischievous grin stretching her lips. Levi frantically fiddled with the joystick, making his chair move backwards, away from her. She started to move faster, quicker than his chair can keep up to.

"Can't this fucking thing go any faster?!" he muttered in annoyance. She's ten feet away, five feet, three…

Her hand reached out once she's near enough and covered his hand that was on the joystick, halting the movement of his chair in the process and her free hand rested on the other armrest. His eyes widened when she leaned down towards him, her face close and the tip of her nose nearly brushed against his own.

His face began heating up in a blush that he couldn't fight off, his heart thudding erratically inside his chest again and he's afraid that she'd hear. He looked into her eyes and he almost felt himself drown in those brown orbs. _Rich, deep, sweet, expressive._

"Go ahead, Levi," she whispered, "Go and take a sniff."

He blinked. That insufferable person then stepped back, letting go of his hand and laughed her ass off.

"You," she managed to gasp out between her laughs, now doubled over with her hands on her knees, "You should've… seen your face!"

He scowled, face still hot and shot her a dark glare, "Fuck you."

She continued to laugh.

"Oh, god, I wish I had my phone ready," she muttered as she wiped away a tear that escaped her eye.

"Fuck you," he repeated, still glaring at her.

"Mr. Ackerman?" a deep voice from behind him called.

He turned his chair and he saw Zacharias, holding a purple envelope and walking towards him.

"Good morning, Zacharias!" she greeted with a wave. The blond gave her a small smile.

"Ms. Kuchel told me to give you this," Zacharias said, holding out the envelope to him. He tilted his head slightly to read the calligraphy on the envelope.

_Petra and Oluo._

His eyebrows raised in intrigue. _They really sent me an invitation, huh._

"Open it for me, Hange, thanks," he requested. She took the envelope from the blond, who quickly left. She read the writing on the envelope and her eyes widened slightly.

"Oh," she muttered, "You… want me to read it to you?"

Levi nodded.

She cleared her throat, " _You are cordially invited to the wedding, joining the lives of –_ "

"When is it?" he cut off.

Her eyes scanned the invitation hastily, "Oh, um… ten days from now."

"A plus-one allowed?"

A short pause, "Yes."

Levi nodded absentmindedly, his mind swirling with an idea.

"Uh, Levi? Do you want me to throw this away?"

"No," he replied immediately. He tilted his head back to look at her, a small smirk forming on the corner of his mouth, "Four-eyes, what do you say about crashing a wedding?"

Her confused expression soon turned into a mischievous one, "I'm in."

* * *

Two days before the wedding, Hange came to work with an excited grin. She's gonna cut his hair and shave the starting of facial hair off his face today.

She was pretty elated when Levi told her that he wants to come to the wedding and asked her to be his companion. His spontaneity startled her, sure, but the confident little smirk on his face had assured her that he knew what he's doing and what he's about to do.

She raised her face to knock on his bedroom door but, before she can do so, a man with sandy blond hair dressed in a complete suit came out. He was just as surprised as hers and he quickly closed the door, but not before she heard the sound of a girl sobbing. She turned her eyes towards the man when he chuckled awkwardly, looking at him questioningly.

"Sorry about that," he apologized, "We better leave them alone for now so they can talk. I'm Farlan Church, by the way. Levi's lawyer," he introduced, holding his hand out.

Hange shook his hand firmly, "Hange Zoë, Levi's carer," she answered. She noticed a flicker of recognition on his face but she ignore it and gestured towards the kitchen, "Um, would you like tea? Coffee? I can fix you one?"

Farlan gave her an apologetic smile, "Sorry. I have to talk to Ms. Ackerman regarding urgent matters. Have a good day!"

With that, Farlan left and walked towards the living room. She shrugged and went to the kitchen where, thankfully, there's already brewed coffee. Erwin must've made it earlier this morning. She poured herself a cup and sat down on the stool, taking her phone out to, once again, study the haircut that she chose for Levi. She smiled a little in satisfaction when she imagined Levi with this hairstyle.

"Excuse me, have you seen Farlan?"

Hange looked up towards the doorway. There stood a young redheaded lady, her green eyes puffy and her nose red from crying. She was looking expectantly at Hange.

"Oh, he said he's going to talk to Ms. Ackerman," the brunette replied.

The woman muttered a quick 'thanks' and left the kitchen. Hange finished her coffee shortly and entered Levi's room, where Erwin was fixing the quilt that he draped over his lap.

"Good morning Erwin, Levi!" she greeted cheerfully.

"Hi, Hange," Erwin greeted back with a smile.

"Must you always be so cheerful?" Levi asked.

Hange grinned, recognizing the reference, "We're quoting _Golden Girls_ now? Get outta here!" she said the last part with a heavy southern accent.

"Hange, you really are one chromosome away from being a potato," he quipped.

"My mistake. I thought since you looked like Yoda, you were also wise."

"Go hug a landmine."

Erwin laughed, "Levi watched _Golden Girls_ and are quoting dialogues from it?" He commented as he shouldered his bag, "Are we talking about the same Levi Ackerman?"

"Shut the fuck up, eyebrows."

It was her turn to laugh, "Don't be grumpy, midget! I'm telling you, it will look good on you!"

He clicked his tongue, "Tch, I better not look stupid on that goddamn wedding."

"Yeah, yeah!" she answered nonchalantly with a wave of her hand.

Erwin chuckled, "Alright, I'll leave you two, now. Have fun!"

Hange wriggled her eyebrows and Levi groaned.

* * *

"Who was that redhead girl? Come to think of it, I think I saw a picture of her and that blond guy with you on the main living room," she asked inquisitively after a long time of blabbering about everything that she knew about the galaxy.

Levi exhaled lightly, keeping his eyes closed, "They're my best friends since high school , Isabel and Farlan."

"Oh, really? I bumped into Farlan when I was about to enter your room earlier and he told me to leave you alone with Isabel so you can talk."

He clenched his jaw at that, nervous that she had overheard of their conversation. Levi had asked Farlan to come to tell him and let him know of the legal actions that needed to be done regarding his assets and, after their long, professional discussion, he told them of what he had planned with Kenny.

Isabel had cried, sobbed and begged him to change his mind, that they're right there with him every step of the way. Farlan sat on the chair, looking shell-shocked but resigned, knowing that Levi had already committed his mind to it.

"Yeah. It's been a long time since I met up with them," he said instead, "Farlan is my personal lawyer. He handles everything law-related for me but his law firm is in Canada, where he's living with Isabel."

She sighed wistfully, "Ah, the perks of having a lawyer-friend."

He snorted, "You're sister's taking up a degree in law, if you hadn't noticed."

"That's still a few years away, Levi!" she giggled, running the razor on the back of his head, "Are you done there?"

"A few moments, you impatient clean-freak."

"Tch. I'm rating this place a one-star."

"Oh no! What will my one and only customer think of such?"

"I'm going to fire you now."

"Aaand we're done!" she announced as she used a brush to swipe the fallen hair off of his nape and shoulders. He kept his eyes tightly closed, afraid to look at his reflection when she removed the cloth that she draped around his form.

"Open your eyes, Levi," she coaxed.

"No," he said through gritted teeth.

"Levi! Don't be such a baby!" she put both hands on his shoulders.

He growled and slowly opened his eyes. She dragged in the full-length mirror from the basement and put it in front of them to work on and, when he opened his eyes, he saw a different person. His face had been shaven clean again, making his face look smooth. His hair, however, had been shaved on the sides and, when he tilted his head, he found that the back had been shaved, as well. The hair that was left on the top brushed the top of his ears, with the ones on the front reaching his eyebrows. Levi blinked and an appreciative smirk lifted the corner of his lip.

"I knew you'd like it," his companion quipped from behind him. Levi met her eyes on the mirror, seeing the smug grin on her lips and his smirk grew.

"Don't tell me you worked as a barber, too?" he joked.

She laughed, "Trust me, you don't want me to do _this_ again. You ready for this wedding?"

"Are you kidding? I was born ready."

* * *

Erwin tightened the tie around his neck and gave him a playful smirk, "Hange will surely like this get-up, Mr. Ackerman."

Levi glared at him, "Shut the fuck up."

"I wonder what her dress will be?" Erwin mused, moving on to fixing his cufflinks, "You think she'll wear a gown?"

His mind conjured up a picture of Hange in a velvet gown, "Shut up."

"Or maybe it's a cocktail dress. You gotta admit, she'd look good in that too."

Levi glared up at the blond, "I'd strangle you if I can."

Erwin chuckled and adjusted his shoe-clad feet on the footrests of the chair, straightening the edges of his slacks in the process, "I bet you she'll not wear any of those."

"I already learned from betting with Hange. No, thanks," Levi declined as her knocks banged on the door. Erwin half-ran towards the door and opened the door with dramatic slowness.

Levi smiled at the person that he saw on the other side of the door. Hange wore a properly ironed three-piece suit and a pair of slacks, her attire much like Levi's minus the tie. She took the time to properly tie her hair up with the ponytail and her black topsider shoes were clean from any speck of dust. Levi didn't expect her to dress the way she did but he's not entirely surprised. If anything, he was actually relieved because this is a _very_ Hange thing to do.

Hange gave him a grin, "Your carriage is ready, my lord," she announced in an absurdly deep voice, complete with a mock bow in front of him.

Levi snorted and moved the chair forward, "You clean up well for a slob," he commented as he passed her.

"Aren't you a charmer, Ms. Ackerman? I'll take that as a compliment," she answered with a smirk.

"You should because it is."

Erwin lowered the ramp of the van and pushed Levi's chair, securing the locks in and opening the partition so he would be able to hear if Levi calls for him. Hange then boarded the van and sat beside Levi.

"So," she began, "What's your game plan?"

He scoffed lightly, turning his head to give her a small smirk, "Nothing. We'll show up, eat a bunch of shitty tasting finger foods and then probably get drunk."

"That's it?" she asked incredulously, eyes wide behind her specs, "You're not gonna barge in and scream 'I object to this wedding!' or run into the cake table?"

"I think you've been watching too many rom-coms. You'll have to pay _me_ to see me do that," he replied, "No, I'm not gonna do anything. I… it's their day. And I don't wanna see the headlines tomorrow saying: ' _Mr. Ackerman came home covered in cake_!' That will give my mom a heart attack."

"And you're uncle will take a picture of it just to embarrass you every single day," Erwin chimed in from the driver seat.

"While laughing his ass off," she added with a snort.

"I'm firing the both of you," he growled.

"Hah! You've threatened us with that for more than a handful of times; that doesn't have effect anymore on us," she laughed.

"We're immune now, Levi."

"Tch!" he turned his head to the side in annoyance. In truth, Levi liked it. He liked talking to them, teasing them, bantering with them. When he's around these people, he felt… valid, normal. They're talking to him like he's a man, not a man bound to his wheelchair for all the world to avoid his eyes and pity him in their minds. It's almost like they don't see the chair; they see _him._

All eyes were on the van when they arrived at the venue, gazes that were quickly averted once he brought his chair down to the solid ground. Hange followed afterwards, closing the van door behind her with a heavy thud. Erwin came down as well and leaned back against the vehicle.

"You two will be fine?" he asked.

"Yep!" Hange answered while Levi scoffed, "What are we, children?"

Erwin brought his palms up in mock surrender, "Just making sure. I don't want Ms. Kuchel coming at me with her garden shears!"

Levi rolled his eyes, "Whatever."

The blond turned to Hange with one hand on his hip and the other waving a finger at her in a 'threatening' manner, "Remember, curfew's at 9! No overdrinking, no cake smashing, keep a foot away of distance, understand?"

"Fine, sir, fine!" she answered in exasperated manner.

"Alright. Have fun, you two!" he grinned and entered the van. He left soon after.

"So," Hange said beside him, "Let's do this?"

Levi took a deep breath and tilted his head up towards hers, "Let's do this."

The ceremony went on without a hitch, with Hange sitting beside him. It was a garden wedding in Petra's childhood home – most likely a choice made by the bride. The sunny days they were granted before the wedding had been beneficial for Levi's case; the ground was not muddy and wet, allowing his chair to move almost smoothly through the grass. Hange was silent through the whole ordeal, which was definitely a first, and he almost chuckled; he can only imagine the amount of force that she's exerting to keep herself from blurting out that the man in front of them is blocking the view, or that the bridesmaids' gowns looked hideous.

When Petra started to walk down the aisle, Levi glanced up briefly. She looked beautiful in her wedding dress, her eyes trained on the man in front of the altar, who was sweating profusely. As he stared at them, he no longer felt the aching twinge in his heart. He's… genuinely happy for them, that they found the happiness that they've been craving for with each other.

Levi glanced at his companion, her brown eyes bored as the officiate droned on and he let out a small smile. Perhaps…

* * *

Hange came back to their table with two tall glasses of drink, "I come bearing gifts!"

Gunther looked up, "Hello. Are you Levi's companion?" he asked as she put one of the drinks onto his chair's holder.

"Yes," she answered and held out her hand, "I'm Hange Zoë, nice to meet you."

He shook her hand briefly, "Gunther Schlutz," he turned back to Levi again and placed a hand on his arm, "I actually have to leave this event. Grace is at home, alone, and I really need to get back to her. I'm really glad to see you here, Levi. Let's meet again soon for drinks?"

"As long as you'll pay the tab," Levi replied easily.

Gunther laughed and stood up, nodding at Hange, "Nice to meet you as well, Hange."

She sat down beside him, adjusting his straw, "Friend of yours?"

He nodded, "Work colleague. He was interning as an accountant back then. Now, he's handling his own team."

He took a sip of his drink, eyebrows scrunching in confusion as the taste registered on his tongue, "Is this Long Island?"

Hange was already halfway through hers, "Yeah, they're the only available ones right now. Why? It thought you wanted to get drunk? I mean, Erwin _will_ be picking us up."

He smirked, "You are a really bad companion."

"I don't hear you complaining," she said smugly as she finished her drink, "Hey, do you want another glass?"

A few more people came over to talk to him: some of them spoke awkwardly, some didn't even know what to say, majority of them refused to meet his eyes. He's used to it by now, he supposed.

"Fancy seeing you here, Mr. Ackerman!"

Levi smirked as Pyxis Dot took up the vacant seat on his left. Hange was blabbering with the man on the other side of hers, their topics going from plants to stars to weather. He decided to let her run her mouth and hoped that they wouldn't get political.

"How are you, my friend?" the older man asked him as he took a sip from the silver flask he got from his jacket pocket.

"Fine, I guess you could say," he replied, taking a sip of his own drink.

Pyxis pointed a finger at Hange, who was still chatting enthusiastically to the man beside her, "Your company?"

He nodded, "Yeah, she's a bit talkative."

Pyxis raised an eyebrow and laughed, "Levi Ackerman? Tolerating the presence of a talkative person?" He looked around the room, "Can someone knock me down with a feather?"

"Come on, old man," Levi chuckled lightly, "I can't be _that_ bad."

"Oh, you were _plenty_ bad," the old man further confirmed, "You can't even stand the _my_ rants."

Levi rolled his eyes, "Because your rants were redundant and annoying."

Pyxis laughed heartily, "You're really a funny man, Levi Ackerman."

"Hello!" Hange now had her attention on the two chatting man, holding her hand out towards Pyxis, "I'm Hange Zoë, nice to meet you!"

The three glasses of Long Island that she had was starting to have an effect on her. There's a slight blush on her face, her voice was higher than before and she's running her mouth a mile a minute.

Pyxis accepted her hand and clapped a hand on Levi's shoulder, "Pyxis Dot. I was this young man's former mentor."

Levi rolled his eyes, "Flattery will get you nowhere, Pyxis."

"What? You _are_ young, at least for me."

The chatter all around suddenly hushed when the newly weds entered the reception area. Petra had changed into a simpler white gown while Oluo removed his jacket, leaving him in his dress shirt and vest. The speeches had begun, one droning man after the other that the two of them ignored. Hange kept on getting drinks and she was on her fifth glass when Petra and Oluo came to him.

"Levi," Petra spoke, sounding a bit surprised, "I'm so glad to see you here!"

"Thank you for coming, sir – I mean! – Levi. It means a lot to us," Oluo expressed.

Levi nodded, a small smile on his lips, "Congratulations. You both looked absolutely lovely."

"Thank you. Thank you for being here, Levi," Petra said and, with a slight squeeze on his shoulder, they got back to the center of the room.

After Hange's fifth glass, the staff had moved the tables to the sides to make room for dancing. She wobbled as she stood up, a loud giggle escaping her lips.

"Something funny?" Levi asked amusedly. Someone started to play music and the newly weds took up the middle of the dancefloor.

"I think I'm a little drunk," she answered, voice still giggly.

He chuckled, "A little?"

She gulped, "Okay, maybe a lot," she recanted, "I need to stop for a while."

"Why? Erwin's picking us up, Hange. Can you loosen my tie a little?"

"Yeah, yeah but I wanna dance!" she whined, voice drowned out by the music as her fingers fumbling with the knot of his necktie and ending up taking the whole thing off.

She giggled again, "Sorryyyy."

"Go ahead and dance, four-eyes," he said, "I'll be right here."

She went off, asking random people to the dance floor. Ladies, teens, men. She enthusiastically twirled around the room with whoever she was partnered, glancing at him once in a while and giving him a smile. He merely watched and he thought about the fact that _he_ could be twirling her, instead. She returned beside him after three songs, slightly out of breath.

"Levi," she whined again and leaned in closer to him, "I wanna dance with you!"

"Are you trying to be funny?"

Instead of answering, she sat down on his lap sideways, her arm wrapped around his shoulders and her legs dangling off of his thigh.

He glared at her but it seemed to have no effect on the inebriated person on his lap, who just grinned maniacally, "What the fuck are you doing?" he sneered at her, just low enough for her to hear, feeling the eyes of everyone in that place looking at them.

"Come on, Levi. My feet really hurt from all that dancing," she grinned and tightened the arm she had draped around his shoulders, "Let's show these people how to dance, Levi Ackerman style!"

He began to smile, that grew into a full-blown grin, "Fine."

He maneuvered the chair towards the edge of the dancefloor, moving it in random directions in some sort of dance. The gazes intensified, some even pointed fingers but he couldn't care less. Hange's with him.

Hange, who's giggling uncontrollably on his lap. Hange, who had both her arms around his shoulders. Hange, with her glasses skewed on her face. Hange, who leaned in closer and whispered something in his ear. Hange, who felt warm against him.

A dam of emotions exploded in his chest, and, suddenly he's smiling widely, rotating the chair around as she giggled on his lap, tightening both arms around him as they twirled the dancefloor. He felt his heart pounding, thudding erratically in his chest and he doesn't care at all if she will feel. All those onlookers be damned; all that he saw was her bright brown eyes, her big ass nose, her blushing cheeks, her grinning lips.

"You're having fun, Hange Zoë," he commented, still rotating the chair around. The people had given them a wide berth, letting them do as they please.

"Like you're not," she retorted, her smile still as wide as ever as she leaned in closer, so close that he caught the scent the body wash that she used, can almost taste the Long Island that she had been perusing all night as her breath blew across his face.

"Yes, I am," he admitted truthfully, looking into her vibrant eyes.

* * *

Erwin had picked them up at 9 on the dot, plastering a fake frown on his face seeing the inebriated state that Hange was in.

"Ms. Kuchel is gonna kill us both," he commented as he helped her get settled on her seat beside Levi.

She only giggled, "Worth it."

The journey to the Ackerman's house was a quiet for the most part because Hange had kept on dozing off on her seat in the middle of her sentences. The brunette would be slurring some silly story about the wedding and, right on the middle she would doze and snore beside him. It was actually amusing that he saw this side of Hange.

"Why are you not drunk?" she slurred, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"I always had higher alcohol tolerance, even before the accident," he replied. He turned his head slightly, staring down at the top of her head.

"Must… be nice…" she trailed off and began snoring again.

Levi chuckled and, with great effort, he placed a kiss on her head.

It was past 11 when they arrived at his home. Hange had slept already slept a great deal and had sobered up a little. When Levi came down from the van, she was looking up, fascinated, at the sky.

"Levi?" she spoke so softly that he almost didn't hear her, her head still tilted up towards the sky, "Do you want to stargaze for a while?"

How can he say no to her?

Hange walked beside him and they slowly strolled the garden, his chair tilted to allow him to see the sky. She pointed out various constellations to him, trying to get him to know the galaxies that she's so fascinated with.

"Did you know that the moon was actually lemon shaped?" she informed him, voice still hushed in the night air, "Astronomers don't actually know why but there's a theory that it may be because of it's interactions with Earth in the early stages of its formation."

"Really? I'll sleep peacefully tonight thinking about that huge, gray lemon up in the sky," he said sarcastically.

She laughed, raising a hand and tracing the stars, "Did you know that only 4% of the outer space had been explored? We really have no idea how vast the universe is."

"Is that why you wanted to be an astronomer?"

"Maybe. I actually just find it fascinating to explore the unknown, exciting discover the things that we previously had no idea of. But… it also makes me terrified. Because, all these years and technological advancements, we only have 4% of information about the vast universe beyond us. It makes me scared to think of what lies past those statistics, of what we don't know about."

She took a deep breath before continuing, "It's scary to be out there, to face the fear that we're nothing but a tiny speck of dust against the rest of the universe. That we're someone insignificant to go against the unknown. But, I guess that's what I can do. To face my fears – not just for myself but for the people around me – and make discoveries about the vastness that we live in. To be able to make just a tiny, miniscule change that can help everyone in their future is already something worth living for."

Levi stared at her in awe, his chair halting its movement, "I… wow."

She laughed lightly, "Is that a weird ambition to have?"

"Absolutely not," he answered immediately, "Those who didn't understand what you just said have shit for brain."

She smiled and walked closer to him. She sat on his lap again, both arms wrapped around his shoulders. She leaned close to him, her forehead almost touching his, "Did you know," she whispered, "that 85% percent of star systems are binary star systems? They're two stars orbiting the same center, coexisting with the other."

Levi stared deeply into her eyes. Her brown eyes were filled with emotions that he couldn't decipher as she moved her hands to the side of his neck and he almost shivered to feel her warm hands against his skin, the same hands that helped him every day for the past three months.

"Stay with us, Levi," she whispered, her fingers drawing invisible circles on the skin of his neck, "We can make something work and I'll be with you every step of the way."

He stared at her and he wanted nothing but to wrap her in his arms, to bury his face on that mess of brown hair atop her head, to kiss her. In three months, Hange made him feel things that he thought he buried long ago, made him feel that everything will be alright despite the obvious fact that it wasn't. He learned how to smile again, to laugh, to joke, to just _live_ again.

She took one of his hands in between hers, pressed his palm against the center of her chest and Levi can almost imagine the heat emitted by her body, seeping through her clothes, warming his undoubtedly cold fingers. A thousand thoughts ran through his head but one thing stuck in his mind. _It's now or never._

Three words pushed past his throat and settled heavily on his tongue, three words that he had been withholding for a while now. When he opened his mouth, different words tumbled out.

"I'm sorry, Hange."


	4. actio vero deorsum

Her knees buckled underneath her the moment she locked the door and she fell to the floor, a hand clamped over her mouth as a sob pushed past her throat. The tears that she had been holding on to while she was in the cab came rushing forth, her fingers digging into her cheeks as she tried to cry silently.

"Hange?"

She looked up to see Nifa alarmed gaze and a louder sob was choked out of her. Her sister knelt on the floor with her and drew her into her arms, hands running up and down her back in a comforting manner and Hange began to cry in the earnest, removing the hand over her mouth and wrapping both arms around her sister's waist, letting out her grief and heartbreak over what had transpired at the Ackermans.

* * *

_The apology rang clear her ear and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, drawing back a little to look at his face, "What?"_

_Levi turned his head to the side to avoid her gaze and clamped his mouth shut._

_She stood up before him, letting go of his hand, which fell limply on his lap. She tried to get him to look into her eyes, "Levi, why are you apologizing? Come on please, tell me."_

_Hange had a fairly good idea why he was apologizing, but she hoped against all odds that she's mistaken._

" _I can't, Hange," he finally turned to look at her, his eyes filled with hopelessness, "I can't continue fighting."_

_She fell silent for a few moments, trying her hardest to understand why he's giving up, all of a sudden, out of the blue._

" _Why?" she whispered, "Why, Levi? Why are you being so goddamn selfish?"_

_Levi remained silent._

" _Why?" she asked again, her voice rising slightly, "Explain it to me Levi, cause I don't think I could ever understand!"_

" _You wouldn't understand," he sulked._

" _Try me," she challenged._

" _I'm tired," he replied, "I'm tired and I have no idea what life has in store for me anymore. I don't think I can continue living this way, Hange. I… can't."_

_Hange swallowed back her sob and blinked rapidly to stop her tears from falling, her chest constricting at every passing second, "So that's it? You're going to give up?" she accused acidly, not caring that her words were scathing._

_The glare that he gave her was unlike anything he had bestowed upon her, "I'm not giving up," he answered and, despite his glare, he still managed to answer her calmly, "I'm letting nature run its course."_

"' _Letting nature' -?" she repeated incredulously and dragged a frustrated hand through her hair, mussing up her ponytail, "Can you hear yourself, Levi?!"_

" _Yes!" he shouted back, matching the crescendo of hers, "Because I'm the one on this fucking wheel chair, this is my life and I get to decide what I want to fucking do!"_

" _Why are you being so goddamn selfish?!" she asked again, her voice thick with emotion, "We care about you! We want what's best for you but you're trying to make it look like we're the bad guys here!"_

" _Are you the one stuck on this chair?! Are you the one who felt humiliated every time you had to shit? The one who had to endure those pitiful stares every time you go out? The fact that you had to live every single day, being a burden to everyone around you? Do you want to hear more? Because that's not even half of the list that I had to face every. Fucking. Day!" he argued, his face contorting into one of pain that nearly broke Hange's heart, "Whatever happens to me will fucking happen."_

_But she pressed on, "And what about us? We can make something work, Levi. Because we're not giving up on you, even if you already did," she said, desperation clawing at her throat._

_He didn't answer for the longest time, letting the tensed air between them choke them both. His face had settled into one of his expressionless mask, merely staring at her and Hange's fingers twitched. She wanted to touch him, to apologize for the things she said, to reassure him that they_ can _make something work as long as he's with them._

_The corner of his lips quirked up in an ironic smirk, "And I thought you'd understand."_

_She blinked when he turned his chair around and started his way to the front door, "Hey! We're not yet done!" she called out but made no move to follow him._

_He didn't answer._

_Panic gripped her and words began tumbling out of her mouth, "What about your family? Your mom? Don't you care about how she will be when you're gone? How heartbroken she will be when something_ did _happen to you?!"_

_He didn't even spare her a glance._

" _What about me, Levi?" she choked out around the ball that appeared in her throat and she can almost feel the hairline cracks that had begun to spread in her heart, "Do you even care about me? Are you going to be a coward again?"_

_Her words halted his advance but he still didn't turn his chair._

" _Because I'm scared at the thought of losing you," she almost whispered as fat tears began to fall from her eyes unchecked, "You know why? Because I lo – "_

" _Don't," he cut her off harshly, his voice cutting, painful, cruel, "Don't you say that. I have nothing to offer to you."_

" _You stupid, self-centered midget! What, you're supposed to know what I need now?! What I want?! Who are you to say that, Levi Ackerman?!" she yelled at his already retreating back, trying hard to conceal the fact that she'd been holding back her sobs for a long time that, if she didn't yell, everything would come out from her mouth choked._

_He didn't dignify her with a response. Hange stared at the back of his chair at it moved, frozen in helplessness, her heart finally breaking into thousand pieces. Erwin must've heard them shouting at each other, for he's already standing by the open front door. She met the eyes of the blond, who looked back at her with sadness in his blue orbs._

_Levi entered the manor and the front door slammed shut._

* * *

"Hange," Nifa prodded as she continued to run her hands over her sister's back. The brunette's sobs had been reduced to hiccups, her eyes all wrung-out and closed in exhaustion, "Can you tell me what happened?"

The brunette gulped and she finally told her sister everything about the DNR, Kuchel's pleas, her feelings for her own boss, their fight. Halfway through, her tears sprang anew and she started to cry again, which Nifa was quick to wipe away.

"I didn't know what to do to convince him," she sobbed, swiping the back of her hand over her eyes almost violently, "And… and I just started to say mean things to him and I'm so ashamed that I told him those words because… because he expected something better from me and he didn't deserved that kind of treatment! Oh, Nifa!" She cried, breaking down to tears again as she clawed the shirt above her chest, feeling her heart clench painfully when the words that they exchanged with each other came back to her.

Nifa was quick to open her arms and welcome her big sister into a comforting embrace, cradling her head against her chest, "I… I'm so sorry, Hange," she whispered against the top of her head, smoothing out the brown mop of hair, "But I'm sure he knows that you didn't mean them!"

Hange shook her head in denial but didn't say anything, "I don't know what to do," she whispered, "I don't want to go back there anymore."

The younger woman pulled back from the brunette, holding Hange at arms' length, "But you have to," she insisted, "I thought you said you have feelings for him?"

"Yes, but…" she paused, "I don't think can take it. I don't think I can ever face him again."

Nifa lightly shook her shoulders, "Hange! From what you told me, something can happen to him anytime. He may be fine today or even tomorrow, but it won't always stay that way. You have to be there for him."

She looked up at Nifa, "I… I can't," she cried.

Nifa sighed quietly and hugged her sister close.

"Don't take your time, Hange," she murmured, "I know you don't want you to regret anything."

* * *

Levi expected her not to come the next day, nor the next.

"What did you expect, eh?" Kenny asked as he wheeled in his computer, "That she'd burst through that door with that huge ass grin, like she always did?" he goaded further as he put the device in front of his nephew.

Levi gave him a blank look, "I didn't expect anything from her," he replied flatly, "She doesn't have to do anything with me anymore."

Kenny scoffed, "You tryna make me laugh? I can see how much you want her to be here," he noted as he hooked the machine, "Hange really changed you."

"Can you shut the fuck up?" Levi snarled, "I'm trying to do something here."

Kenny scoffed as he adjusted the headphones over his ears and put the mic near his mouth, " _You're_ trying to do something? _I'm_ the one who had to put this hideous thing on you!"

The cursor of the blank word document blinked at him. He had no idea what to say, in truth. Should he start apologizing? Or should he tell her the more pressing matter? He had stayed up all night, trying to think of the right words to say in this letter but the words get caught in the net of his pain that he ended up with a mess of words.

He hurt her. He can acknowledge that in himself. He wanted to tell her different things, to ask her to please hold his hand again, to tell her that he felt the same. He wanted to comfort her with the things that he found endearing about words and feelings never worked well for Levi Ackerman. He had never been good with putting his feelings into the right words that can properly convey the magnitude of his emotions and this time is no exception.

"What's taking you so long?" Kenny quizzed, "Come on, Levi, I still need to take that back to the basement!"

Levi turned his head to face his uncle, "I told you to shut the fuck up."

"You have no idea what to say, do you?" Kenny asked with narrowed eyes. When he reluctantly nodded, his uncle groaned, "Come on!"

"What the fuck's gotten to you?" Levi asked in irritation, "You're not really helping."

"This is _Hange_ we're talking about, boy!" Kenny exclaimed, his arms spread on his side dramatically, "That person's probably the only one who can understand a thing you say!"

Levi continued to glare at his uncle, who shrugged and fell back on Levi's bed, "That's as much help that you can get from me. I have nothing else so you better start typing! Or speaking, in your case."

He closed his eyes, took in a deep breath and exhaled heavily. _Fuck it._

"Look…"

* * *

The older Ackerman snorted, "Hah! You really got it bad for this girl!" he landed on the bed, laughing, "Oh damn, I never thought I'd see you this whipped!"

"Fuck you!" Levi replied, "Just get this printed and give it to Farlan, will you? He'll know what to do."

"Fine, fine," his uncle sighed dramatically, "Let me be the errand man."

Kenny unplugged the computer, properly twisting the cord and tucking it in near the monitor. He turned to Levi to help him with the headphones before putting his hands on his shoulders, looking him in the eyes.

"You know," his uncle mused, "Hange really changed you and I can say that it's definitely for the better. Are you sure about what you want now? We can still have it revoked."

Levi sighed, "I'm sure."

* * *

It started on the third day.

He started to cough violently that wracked his whole body every time he hacked. His chest hurt from breathing that he had to keep his breaths shallow. He had his routine check up a month ago; what the hell brought this on?

Erwin didn't waste anymore time when his coughing persisted for half an hour. He carried Levi to his chair, nearly knocked down Kuchel's bedroom door and drove them to the hospital. His doctor had speculated that his symptoms were consistent with pneumonia, which was further confirmed by the x-ray and the various tests that they ran.

It's getting hard for him to get air into his lungs, his breaths coming out with a wheeze that sounded like a broken machine. He refused to lie down flat on the bed; he felt like he was drowning when they did that.

They're getting worried, he knew that, and they considered intubation to remove the fluid that's rapidly building up in his lungs. With all the strength that he had, he refused. Him and Kenny included intubation in the DNR.

His mother cried, completely broke down in front of him and pleaded with him, _begged_ him to allow the procedure, to let the doctors do what they need to do with him. He stubbornly shook his head 'no' and closed his eyes, for a moment so he didn't have to see his mother crying. He doesn't want that to be the last memory of hers that he will carry with him.

He must've dozed because, when he opened his eyes again, there's Hange looking down at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. He smiled for the first time in days.

She wore the full PPE but she drew the mask down to her chin and he almost laughed if it didn't hurt to do so because this is very much like Hange to not abide with the rules. She was running her fingers through his hair gently, and was saying something to him in a hushed tone that he couldn't quiet decipher. Was it _'I'm sorry'_ that she said? He shook his head, trying to tell her not to apologize, that it's not her fault, that _nothing_ is her fault and tried to speak. He ended up in a coughing fit that felt like broke his back again. Her sobs intensified and he wanted to comfort her, to tell her to stop crying because he's not worth her tears. With great effort on his part, he managed to mouth the words.

' _Don't… cry…'_

Hange roughly wiped her tears away and gave him a tremulous smile that he returned. Now that's the Hange that he knows.

Hange said something more to him. Perhaps it was a reassurance, because it almost sounded like ' _I'll be here'._

And Levi smiled when he felt her lips press a gentle kiss on his forehead.

_Son of business tycoon, Levi Ackerman, had died at 34._


	5. requiem

She didn't come to the wake nor to the funeral. She lay on the bed while her sister attended her classes. She would get up, occasionally, to use the bathroom or to smoke. The weather's being contradictory; the sun was shining that day, a little too hot, a little too high on the sky. She took in a deep drag, stared at the half-burnt cancer stick in between her fingers with a look of disgust, only to inhale another bitter drag. She hated smoking.

* * *

It was three days after the funeral when an unexpected visitor knocked on their apartment door.

Hange ignored the first three rounds of knocking, thinking that the third time is the charm and, whoever on the other side will leave eventually. But, they're so goddamn persistent. On the fifth round, Hange finally stood up and opened the door with a frown, only for her eyes to widen upon seeing Farlan Church, dressed in a dark suit, standing before her door.

"Hange Zoë," he greeted with a small, professional smile, "We meet again."

She let him in, mentally thanking her sister for being so neat and tidying up the place before she left for uni. Hange offered the man coffee, which he politely declined.

"I thought you'd be at the funeral," he commented, voice cool and straight to the point. He was preoccupied with opening his briefcase and pulling something out that he didn't notice the stiffening of the brunette's posture, "I had wished to discuss this with you by then but, unfortunately, you didn't come."

The man had pinned her with his calculating gaze that Hange forced herself to school her expression into a neutral one, "Yeah, sorry about that. I had to work at the café that day. Condolence, by the way."

"Oh, I see. It's alright, then. I just have to give this to you," he said and handed her an envelope, "Levi entrusted me to give this to you in the event of his untimely death."

Hange stared back at the man with a confused look in her eyes, "And… what would this be?"

Farlan shrugged, "I'm not sure. Levi didn't tell me. But he did give a little instruction for me to relay to you."

"That is…?"

"That you will only open the envelope when you're absolutely ready and, once you've understood what's written in their, you'll call me," he fixed his briefcase and stood up, handing her his calling card, "I can't stay long. I still have a flight to catch."

"Have a safe flight," she replied, standing up hastily and opening the door for him. He gave her a nod of acknowledgement and then he was gone.

Hange studied the envelope, her fingers itching to rip it open and read whatever it is that that clean freak had written for her. But, at the same time, she wanted to crumple it, to shred it to pieces, to feed it to the fire. Because she doesn't think she can read that whole thing without breaking down again, especially without her sister to pick up the pieces of her once again.

She left the envelope on top of the refrigerator and she almost forgot about its existence.

* * *

She had fallen into a routine. She'd go to the coffee shop, finish her shift and then go to the house of the three kids that she had to tutor. When she got home, she'd either open a bottle of beer and watch whatever shitty film she found on Netflix or stare at the ceiling until morning came.

She lived with regret every single day that passed, a thousand _what ifs_ flying around her mind as she did her job or smoked or drank.

It was almost three months after his death that the envelope flew down from where it sat, precariously on the edge of the ref.

She's a tad bit tipsy, her steps zigzagging and her vision a little more blurred than usual. Was she wearing her glasses? She's pretty sure she wore them that morning. What time is it even? Is it noon? Night? Midnight? Who gives a fuck. All she knew was that her bottle's empty and she needed a new one.

A single misstep and she tripped, her forehead barely missing the edge of the counter. Fortunately, she held out a hand towards the door of the refrigerator and was able to catch herself. Unfortunately, it made the appliance lean back against the wall, making its contents rattle and she even heard glasses and eggs break inside.

"Shit," she muttered, sobering up almost instantly. She righted the refrigerator's stand and cautiously opened the door. She groaned when she saw that the eggs had exploded into a mess, several bottles of condiments broken and she winced at the amount of mess she created. She turned to get rags when something crinkled underneath her feet.

She looked down and her chest tightened slightly when she saw the envelope. She bent down and, with trembling fingers, she picked it up, brushing off the dust that had accumulated on one side. She held the flap between two fingers but, still, she hesitated. She's actually afraid of what's inside, reluctant to read whatever words he had written for her. Would it be filled bitterness? Anger? Contempt?

She sighed and picked up her pack of cigarettes, stepping out of their apartment and onto the swing set down by the parking. It's late, no children will be out at these hours and Nifa's still at the house of her classmate. The ref can wait, she decided as pulled out a folded, single piece of paper, the letters typed.

* * *

_**Epilogus** _

_Look, I'm not good with this shit._

_Kenny said that you're the only other person who can understand the shit that comes out of my mouth. So, if you don't understand a thing here, then good luck._

_Shut the fuck up, Kenny!_

_Shit, how do you delete this?_

_Fuck it._

_Anyway, if you're reading this letter then that means I have died and can't communicate with you anymore. I'm writing this letter to let you know that I've instructed Farlan to set up an account for me in your name, which you can use for your own discretion. But I hope that you'd use a part of that in pursuing what it is that you really wanted. Stop trying to live up to your parents' expectations. I'd like you to be the best fucking botanist and astronomer out there._

_Why did I do that? The answer is not even clear to me. But I do want to try and make you happy, even if I'm not there with you anymore. Even if I was a total dickhead to you._

_The last time we talked was more like a shouting match and I'm really sorry if I made you feel like you're not good enough for me. You are too good for me, in fact, and that makes it both better and worse. I was an ass and I'm sorry. I have brought you nothing but grief and pain but, someday, I hope you'd find it in yourself to forgive me, even if my apology is a tad bit late. But meeting you, getting to know who you are, made the last months of my life worth it. I have no regrets._

_I really suck at this shit. But I'd like you to know that your feelings were very much reciprocated._

_Well, that's it. Kenny's laughing so hard beside me now that I want to run his feet over with the wheelchair._

_Oh, last words._

_Perhaps, I'll be your lotus. Just like the one you told me before. See you, I'll keep watching over you._

_Dedicated my heart to you,_

_Levi._

* * *

Hange cried then laughed, her heart bursting with emotions as she read his letter over and over again, hearing his voice reading the letter with her in her head.

"Oh, Levi," she sighed, face wet with tears but her lips was stretched in a smile, "I've dedicated my heart to you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> i probably made so many legal and medical mistakes here, pls feel free to educate me of my errors. im so sorry if i had offended and/or triggered anyone with the way i made the story.
> 
> I tried to omit and change as much as i can from the novel and im so sorry if there's so much similarities. i also apologize if the ending was a bit rushed
> 
> i hope you liked it!! :D


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